


A Small Order of Mechanical Mishaps With A Large Side of Skeletons

by artisticAbomination



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Ecto-Body (Undertale), F/M, Let me know in the comments, Multi, NSFW, NSFW Art, Original AU Skeletons, Reader Is Not Chara (Undertale), Reader Is Not Frisk (Undertale), Reader-Insert, Various AU Papyri/Reader, Various AU Sanses/Reader, i dunno, if i need to fix anything, reader gets simped after by a huge hoard of skeletons, reader has feelings for multiple people, strap in cause this will be a long fanfiction, tags will be updated if anything changes, the sinful stuff will happen later but for now I'm building up to it so be patient, this is my first fic on this platform and I'm still figuring out how everything works
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:02:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 33,647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27426142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artisticAbomination/pseuds/artisticAbomination
Summary: You're just an average woman, working a shitty job to pay rent for a shitty apartment and to keep your shitty car from falling apart in a new town with no friends a family too far away to help you much. You decided to go out bar hopping and met a punny skeleton who made your life go from dull to interesting.... but calling your life interesting would become a massive understatement once the strange machine your newfound friend was working on malfunctioned brought forth a whole army of him and his brother!!! Tensions will rise and fights will be inevitable as untold feelings and suppressed emotions rear their ugly heads and ultimately begin to gnaw away what little sanity you have left as  the skeletal hoard compete amongst themselves for your attention. Which one will you choose if any?
Relationships: Papyrus (Undertale)/Reader, Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 76





	1. Humble Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, and welcome to my first ever AO3 work! I'll try to find a way to add in some pictures of certain scenes, especially considering a few of my own AUs (SteamBlazeTale, RebelTale, and UnderDisaster) are included in here and I know no one knows what the skeletons from it look like (though for SteamBlazeTale and RebelTale only one skeleton from each is present and you'll find out why, but I won't spoil that since you'll be asking them yourself later on. Fell free to send me any fanart of this you draw! I love fanart with a burning passion!!! Also, be warned. not every skeleton will simp after you... at least one of them wont.... but who that one is I won't spoil! Also, ecto bodies won't be a constant thing, but will occur often with certain ones, though the rest not so much. The first couple chapters will be a bit bleh and just sort of starting things out before plunging face first into a sea of skelebaes!... but I digress.... Enjoy the first chapter! XD

You lived in a small one-horse town with your parents, working a dead end job in fast food to save up for your own place. Your car was an older model that was just barely holding on to functionality by a thread that your parents insisted you keep driving because "It has character"... character your left-!

Your alarm went off indicating you needed to get up and get ready for work, breaking you from your half asleep mental tirade. You sighed in resignation and reluctantly got out of bed, trudging out of your room and into the kitchen. The sound of your mom and dad preparing for work the only sounds besides the chirp of crickets singing in the pre-morning darkness that ruled over the outside world at the ungodly hour you had to be up by to make it to work in time. You put some coffee on to brew and grabbed a granola bar, packing yourself a lunch as you munched on the small bar of oats and chocolate. You hastily poured yourself a cup, fixing it to your liking and downed it a little too quickly, scalding your poor taste buds in the process as you dashed for a cold shower to shock yourself awake. You throw on your uniform, grab your phone, headphones, lunch, and keys and made a mad dash for your car to try to beat morning traffic.

You slid into the car, noting your windshield was fogged to all hell and back. You attempted to wipe a portion away, only to groan in dismay when it didn't do anything. the fogginess being neither inside the car nor outside, but rather trapped in the glass itself. You grabbed the window lever and cranked it down as fast as you could, doing the same to the passenger side. The humid late spring air practically suffocating you as you turned the key in the ignition. It took a few failed attempts before it turned over and the engine revved to life. You clipped on your seatbelt and put in your headphones, not having a functioning radio in the vehicle and leaning your head out your window, backing out of the driveway and opting to take the backway to work to avoid other people or (heaven forbid) cops with too much time on their hands and a vendetta against the lower income drivers.

You pulled into work with five minutes to spare.

You slid down in your seat and spent a minute scrolling through your social media, startled out of your skin when you hear someone slap both hands on the roof of the car right above you, whipping your head around to see your boss standing there, her hands sliding off the roof with a sweaty palmed squeak as she peered in at you. "Got some news for ya!" she grunted, always one to be blunt with others. "Good news, or bad news?" you asked cautiously. She leaned her elbows on the gap where your window was rolled down and scrunched her face as the sun peered over the horizon. She seemed to mull it over pensively for a moment, lips pursed in deep thought. "Just news" she shrugged. "okay... lay it on me." you cringed in preparation, heart hammering as your mind swam with various thoughts of the few minor slip ups you had made last week. "you're getting a promotion~!" she sing-songed and wiggled her hips side to side in a little victory dance of sorts. You couldn't help the grin that plastered across your face and the giddy bouncing you began doing subconsciously in the driver seat. 

"But-" her voice cut your elation short and made your blood run cold...  
but...... but was never a good follow up after good news like that

"B-but what?" your voice cracked slightly, betraying the calm mask you had hastily slapped on  
"You'll be sent to a new location..... rather far from here, actually.... meaning you'll have to move out and leave all this behind... but you'd be getting paid triple what you make now and you'd get way more tips in a bigger city like the one corporate needs you to fill the position in" She continued  
"I-I'll have to t-text my family and let them know! A-a-and I'll have to find a place to live and figure things out and-and-and-" your boss cut you off with a simple grunt and leveled her gaze to yours. "you'll have a month of paid time off to get your ducks in a row. Don't panic, just breathe and take your time. Go ahead and take today off too. I'll just punch you in and clock you out when your shift ends so you don't end up missing the money. Take the day to talk it over with your folks and let me know when they give you the go ahead." she smiled, patting your car door and retreating back inside, making a show of makeing sure you saw her clock you in.

You sighed, anxiety mounting as you began the slow drive home once more, your mind flooded with thoughts of how to even go about telling your family you were just up and leaving in a month. The proud and excited face of your father and the ballistic, helicopter-parenting, my-way-or-the-highway face your mom gave you way too frequently ruling over your conscious thoughts and making all the inner monologue you were working so strenuously to piece together become nothing more than a chaotic chorus of distortion that made you feel dizzy and your stomach turn sour.

You pulled back into the driveway and took a deep breath, turning your car off and hauling your nervous, quivering frame out and back inside, met by the surprised gazes of your mother and father, both of which had another hour and a half left before they had to make the long drives to work. They both say at the kitchen table, like someone had pressed pause on them eating breakfast. "Y/n?" your mother's voice finally broke the awkward silence. "What are you doing back home? Didja forget something?" Your father smiled warmly. You swallowed the lump in your throat, scratching around in your headspace in an attempt to remember how to talk.

"no..." you responded cautiously, fidgeting and shifting from one foot to the other.  
Your mother's stern stare was enough to make you wish you had just insisted on working your shift today instead  
"Then Why aren't you at work?" she pressed  
"m-.....my boss.... um...... I-I"  
"Spit it out!" she snapped, making you jump  
"I got promoted!" you quickly amended

your father's face lit up with joy and your mother looked as if someone had just slapped her across the face with a cold washcloth

"Promoted?" she parroted. "They why do you look like you're lying?" she asked smugly. You two never seemed to see eye to eye. You were your father's daughter if anything.

"Nonononono! I'm not lying! I DID get promoted!.... but it comes with some complications." you strained to speak, your mother's glare making your skin feel like stone

"What are these complications?" your dad leaned in your direction, seeming genuinely interested

"well...." you swallowed thickly. "They want to r-relocate me."

"Like.... how far are we talking?" Your mom already looked like she was about to snap.

"preeeeety faaaaarrrr.... like.... New Capital far but they really want me for the position! And I'd be making triple what I make now! That'll be over twenty dollars an hour! I'd be the regional manager!" You attempted to really sell this idea to your mom, your dad was already pulling out his wallet and pulling out a debit card for some reason. 

"How soon do they want you to start?" your mom seemed to deflate in defeat, catching you completely off guard given her usual nature was quite controlling

"u-um I have a month of paid time off before they'd want me to start. They said they want to give me a decent amount of time to get the housing and moving situation taken care of and enough time to get a lay of the land." You replied, failing to hide the genuine shock from your voice. 

"honey?" she sighed, turning to your dad. he looked up from writing on a sticky note attached to the debit card in his hand. "Help her find a cheap apartment within walking distance of her new job in case her car doesn't make it. That car was only meant to be a point A to point B little putt-around-town-car, so I doubt it'll last very long after a long drive... but for God's sakes, PLEASE fix it up a bit and get that windshield replaced so she doesn't drive with her head out the window anymore!" She pleaded. Your dad nodded, walking into their bedroom for a moment and returning with his laptop. "While we're gone, I want you actively searching for the cheapest places in that area. When I get back, I'll start working on Silverstreak and later I'll help you with applying to lease. Sliverstreak should be ready to transform and roll out in five days max." your dad grinned ear to ear.

Ah yes... Silverstreak.... the name your father so lovingly gave your little silver 2005 Ford Focus ZX4 he had gotten for you. He had named it after an Autobot because the G1 Transformers cartoon was something the two of you would geek out over for hours on end if your mom didn't detest it so, but alas, Silverstreak didn't quite perform up to standards compared to it's namesake, much to your dismay.

Your parents left for work, leaving you to your apartment search. You Texted your boss to give her the green light and she responded with a hasty thumbs up emoji and a smiley face followed by the address of the stores you would be in charge of and a quick mention that your month starts tomorrow as does your pay raise. with so much money about to be at your fingertips, you knew you could afford a nice place and a new car to boot... but you were the type that would rather live below your means and have money to spare for fun on days off as opposed to living flashily and eating like a college student as most did nowadays.

You decided to change into an old pair of shorts and a ratty old t shirt you used as lounge around clothes before you returned and began to look up and plot out where each branch of your job was and find an apartment somewhere in the middle of all of them. You spent the day bookmarking every apartment close to the epicenter of the job locations and filtering out anything over $600 a month. You were shocked to see that all but one dropped out of the results. It was smack center of your search area. It was a little run down looking, but then again it wasn't that bad all things considered. a home is a home is a home, and the crime map showed practically no crime at all in that area. It was perfect in your opinion, so you filled out an application to move in, and were surprised when an hour later the landlord actually called you. He sounded around your dad's age and the sound of two kids in the background made you crack a small smile. 

"So, I have your application pulled up here, uuuuuuuuhhhhm.... don't take offence, but um... are you a human or a monster?" his tired voice mumbled through your phone. It had been a few years since they were freed from the underground, and you knew they needed different living accommodations than humans in some cases, so it was understandable that he'd ask that. 

"I'm human, and I'm not opposed to living near monsters." you responded.

"Good, good... this uh... this complex is co-species, so your neighbor might very well end up being a monster, and I'd hate to have any racial complications on my property...... so uh.... you live pretty far from here, huh? What brings you all the way out here, if you don't mind me asking?"

"My job promoted me and want me to relocate by next month. I'm living with my parents for the time being, but once my car's fixed up enough to make the drive without too much issue and my bags are packed, I'll be heading down there money in one hand and a pen in the other!" you chirped excitedly.

"I see, I see uh.... the silver... 2005 Focus you put in the application... I'll have a parking spot reserved for you. Just shoot me a text a day in advance and I'll get the papers drawn up."

"I should be there in about a week from tomorrow. How's 3pm Friday sound?" You inquire, heart thudding in excitement

"Sounds fantastic, Miss Y/n. See ya then with the papers in one hand and the keys in the other." he joked, turning your earlier statement around on you in a lighthearted way.

You spent the day excitedly texting all of your old friends, your parents and your boss about scoring your first ever apartment in record time.

Your dad was the first home, hugging you and looking at the apartment pictures with a trained eye. "Looks like it just needs some minor fixing, but nothing that you couldn't do yourself with a few bucks and a youtube tutorial. And the price is decent, very open minded of you to pic a co-species housing option in case you make any monster friends in the New Capital and wanna invite them over to play videogames or something." he beamed. "now... time to go bust my knuckles a bit on that old clunker.... unless you just wanted a new car entirely." he frowned, heading towards the garage. "nah... old Silverstreak's grown on me too much over the years to just give him up, dad." you mused. "Wanna come out and help me get him sorted out then? You only have a week, and I'm sure you've got a lot of packing and extra shopping to do, not to mention parting ways with this town and the people in it. I'm sure you'd want a few days to do that before you run out of time."

You stood, stretching a bit. "sure thing, daddio!" you grunted, following him out to collect the tool box.

You didn't want to admit it.... but you were going to really miss this once it's all shrinking out of view in the rearview mirror, but you weren't going to let a tsunami of feels keep you from being excited about your new life and the exciting prospects of it all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woo! anyone else excited for the skeletal shenanigans to start? Probably gonna start in chapter two or three, so stay tuned, cause I don't have any form of posting schedule in place cause my free time is as varied as the length of my attention span! XD
> 
> I'll probably have chapter 2 up quickly tbh, considering I'm in a writing mood and none of my rp friends are on Discord right now, plus I'm excited to get to scenes that are important, cause I'm gonna try to draw pictures to accompany them. Any fanart y'all send me will be linked here in the end notes. Until next chapter, my lovely abomi-nation: Stay crazy! (\o3o/)


	2. Culture Shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The week flew by so fast! Silverstreak's fixed up a bit and able to just barely scrape by with the large payload of the moving trailer your dad had modified the back end to be able to tow along the nearly 8 hour drive. Relax, you make a new friend in this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh! Would ya look at the time! It's....sssskeleton-o-clock!.... yeah!.....The time has come!.... here it is!

Your bags were packed and loaded up into a small moving trailer. Your dad had somehow added a trailer hitch to your little sedan and he was giving the car one last check over on fluid levels and making sure the battery and alternator were putting out the right amount of charge. You had said your farewells to the townsfolk and thanked your boss a thousand times for pulling a few strings to get you this amazing opportunity to move up in life. 

"Alrighty, Y/n!" your dad dropped the hood and withdrew his toolset. "give us a text when you get there or if anything happens to you on the way..... and..." your dad stepped up to your much smaller frame, sitting in the driver's seat and reached through the window, wrapping his strong, comforting arms around you, the smell of his aftershave burning your nose slightly. "good luck out there" he said withdrawing from the parental embrace and holding out that debit card he had pulled out and put a sticky note on only a week ago when you broke the news. 

You stared at it as if it were a foreign object for a moment. "Dad, what's this?" you asked cautiously eyeing the piece of plastic pinched between his index and middle finger knuckles.

"remember how you started paying rent to stay here after you turned 18?.... I saved it all and put it in a bank account..... this is the card that all that money's on. The pin is on the sticky note and it's in your name. Take it. Every penny counts when you're just starting out, but don't forget to have some fun and explore when you get set up. Maybe eat out at the local diners and make a few friends before you have to dive back into work again. Get to know your neighbors, and get in the good graces of the people above you so they don't stomp around as much." he nudged you with his elbow in a playful manner that had you holding in a laugh, shoulders bouncing slightly as you took the card, leaning out the window to hug your dad once more. Your dad looked to you with the warm eyes of a father trying not to cry when the nest is about to be empty again as you retreated back into the bucket seat. 

He cleared his throat and took a few steps back onto the lawn and in his best Peter Cullen imitation and Optimus Prime pose "Autobots, transform-!" pointing down the driveway. Your mom had to work that day, so she couldn't be there to see you off. 

"-And ROLL OUT!!! Love you, daddy!" you called out as you backed out of the driveway, trying your best to hold back your tears as you glimpsed your dad retreating back inside wiping away tears of his own. You took a deep, steadying breath and "It's the long one on the left, push it" you could almost hear your dad's playful remark in your head, and found yourself pulling out onto the interstate in no time flat, a few tears spilling down your cheeks as the town you had been born and raised in retreated into oblivion in the rearview mirror

It was a long car ride, but thankfully you had a new bluetooth radio to keep you from driving in silence. The heavily used interstate pavement adding it's own steady PLCHLUNK PLCHLUNK PLCHLUNK   
that most that never traveled it before often mistook for the sound of having a blown tire

You made as few pitstops as you could, only stopping for gas, bathroom breaks, and once for food

You found yourself pulling into the complex parking lot about ten minutes early. Parking in the spot your new landlord had designated as yours, the trailer small enough to just barely fit inside the margins of the lines without hanging out too far behind. you grabbed the cash for rent and deposit in your non dominant had, pen occupying your writing hand. You wanted to see if he'd chuckle at the fact you were literally doing what you said you were going to do. You looked to your apartment, it was on an outer corner with a balcony, meaning you'd only have one neighbor to the side and one above. you glanced up and you could have sworn you saw the curtain to the apartment above yours move as if someone had been watching you... note to self... nosey neighbors.

You leaned against Silverstreak's driver side door and waited.

"Miss Y/n! Punctually early I see!" your landlord called out as he exited the apartment next to yours.... your landlord was your next door neighbor, what a twist and how convenient for paying rent! The building only having 8 apartments, you didn't think he'd actually be on the premises let alone your neighbor!

"I see you were serious when you said cash in one hand, pen in the other!" Your landlord chuckled, also having been serious about his claim.

As you skimmed over the lease agreement and rules a cherry red convertible pulled in driven by a very tall skeleton, his red scarf billowing behind him as he let out a boisterous "NYEHEHE!!!" and parked it in apartment 3's spot. Yours was apartment 2. You took mental note from the pictures that the complex was strange. two quadplexes right next to each other with apartment one below 4 and 2 below 3 with the second mirroring it with 8 over 5 and 7 over 6.

"Papyrus! How was work, big guy?" Your landlord called over to the large skeleton

You signed in all the spots you had to and handed him the paper back followed by an exchange of money for the keys

"IT WAS ANOTHER AMAZING DAY KEEPING THE STREETS OF NEW CAPITAL SAFE FROM CRIME, ASIDE FROM UNDYNE'S INSISTANCE ON NOOGYING ME EVERY HOUR ON THE HOUR" his expression was contagiously cheerful and you found yourself smiling like an idiot.

"AND WHO IS THIS NEW HUMAN, LANDLORD SID?" Papyrus strode over. In a few long legged strides he was standing beside the Landlord, bent comically low to be eye level with you as he seemed to be appraising your wide eyed gaze as you reeled over just how tall he actually was. The curtains in unit 3 moved again, but you couldn't seem to tear your gaze from Papyrus's.

"Papyrus, this is Y/n. She's moving into unit 2 today." Sid gestured to you.

Papyrus's eyes boggled. It took every fiber of your being not to bust out laughing at that ridiculously funny face.

"ASGORE'S BEARD!!! YOU'LL BE LIVING RIGHT UNDERNEATH WHERE MY BROTHER AND I LIVE!!! THAT MAKES US NEIGHBORS!!! YOU SIMPLY MUST COME OVER!!!" Papyrus gushed, his enthusiasm rubbing off on you. 

"Let the woman get settled into her apartment first, big guy!" Sid chuckled.

"DO YOU REQUIRE ANY ASSISTANCE MOVING INTO YOUR NEW ABODE, HUMA- I MEAN Y/N?" Papyrus looked like a puppy getting ready to go for a walk. How could you say no?

"Well, I don't have much more than a bed and some clothes and stuff... but there's no way I'm strong enough to carry it all in on my own. Especially the bed.... I would really appreciate the help!" you reply with a nervous smile

"WHAT ABOUT YOUR OTHER FURNITURE?"

"I uh... don't have any yet... but I have enough money to buy some later once I've got everything else inside."

"FEAR NOT, Y/N! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AM A MASTER OF INTERIOR DESIGN AND THE SUBTLE ART OF FUNGSHUEI! I CAN ACCOMPANY YOU ON YOUR APARTMENT FURNISHING ADVENTURE TO ENSURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING YOU CURRENTLY LACK IN YOUR NEW ABODE!"

"Just so long as it's not too expensive. I prefer to live a bit below my means and keep things minimalistic at best" 

"YOU WOULD GET ALONG SWIMINGLY WITH MY BROTHER! THOUGH BEWARE, HE'S A BIT SLOVENLY." 

You unlocked and opened the trailer. "I'll go open up my apartment real quick" you said, jogging over to the door with the big brass 2 nailed near the middle and unlocked it, pushing it open wide and turning around just in time to see Papyrus was right behind you, your twin sized foam mattress, box spring, and bed frame all tucked under either arm as he peered inside, gawking at the poor state of the interior. 

The composit wood floor was water damaged, practically peeling up in spots. The ceiling was aged and crumbling as someone walked around in apartment 3, probably Papyrus's brother, bits of ceiling coming down like snow. The walls were riddled with bullet holes and knife marks and holes were punched in several spots, a huge caved in part of the wall barely holding together was shaped like a person had been slammed against it nd the outlet and lightswitch covers were't even there anymore, no lightbulbs either. 

"SID, WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?! WHY HAVE YOU NOT REPAIRED THE DAMAGE THAT THOSE RATHER RUDE HUMANS LEFT BEHIND WHEN THEY WERE EVICTED!?!" Papyrus cried out, looking mortified

"The damage is too expensive and extensive to fix right now." Sid called out through the thin walls, having gone back into his own apartment

You felt like someone else was watching you, your sins crawling on your back

"it's okay, Papyrus! See? look!" you chirped, walking over to the person shaped indent and with the marker you signed the lease with, you drew a smiley face where the head indent was. "See? I'll call him Mr. Drywall! look! He's happy! Now it won't be as lonely in here."

  
The feeling dimmed a bit, but only a bit, a deep chuckle coming from the apartment above, parroting your silly declaration between laughs.

Papyrus didn't miss how your gaze turned upwards to the source of the voice and the light ceiling snow that fell from where he was obviously standing. "BROTHER, HUSH UP UP THERE!!! THIS IS NO LAUGHING MATTER!!!" Moving past you and giving the spot an obviously weak punch, causing the ceiling to snow down more from everywhere. 

"and look! It snows indoors all year round!" you grinned, wanting to elicit more laughing from that amazingly deep voice, and being rewarded in your efforts by hysterical laughter and a thwump as he presumably fell over from laughing so hard.

"Hello, Papyrus's brother! I'm your new neighbor!" you called up to the disembodied voice

"knock knock" his voice came through. You could practically hear the shit eating grin on his face.

"NO"

"Who's there?" you respond 

"NO NO"

"Ice"

"NONONO!"

"Ice who?"

"YOU'VE DOOMED US ALL!"

"Ice to meet you"

"NNNNNNNNYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!"

You couldn't help the laugh that bubbled past your lips.

"YOU'RE BOTH DEAD TO ME!!!!"

"What? you don't like jokes, Papyrus?" you giggled, wiping tears of mirth from your eyes

"NO! I DESPISE THEM!"

"aw, come on, little bro. No need to give me the-" his brother paused for a moment to knock more ceiling snow down on Papyrus "-cold shoulder"

You laughed so hard you were snorting, much to Papyrus's displeasure.

The evening passed with you and Papyrus moving your stuff in with him yelling every time his brother made a joke or pun through the floor above your heads and furniture shopping with Papyrus. He even introduced you to a fish monster named Undyne, who was in her police uniform. She had suplexed you and reduced you to a shrieking mess as she assaulted your poor hair with noogies and attacked Papyrus with noogies as well. 

Papyrus retreated to his home above you for the night, leaving you in your freshly furnished and slightly fixed up apartment. He had put in all the lightbulbs, though the electric sockets and light switches were still gaping holes into the walls. You retired to your bed for the night... but at some point the feeling of being watched was back again and disturbed your sleep several times throughout the restless night.

"Y/n's so peaceful when she sleeps. The jury may have come to a decision.... but the judge has yet to make a decision"  
Two white pinpricks of light bore into your sleeping form from the balcony outside your bedroom window.

You were quite the perceptive one, he had to admit. You could feel him watching and from how when you would wake up from it and whip your gaze to the window and the one time you opened the window and leaned out to check for intruders, he knew you were smarter than you looked, but you had yet to catch him in the act.  
You'd prove an interesting new neighbor, that's for sure. He'd have to keep an eye socket on you. He could see "Mr.Drywall" looking at him with a doofy smile and the latest addition of googly eyes from the other room and nearly exploded into laughter, shoulders shaking in an effort to keep his voice down. He had heard it, but now that he was LOOKING at it, it was even funnier.

"sleep well, kiddo." he muttered before he disappeared into thin air in a flash of cyan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's not trying to be a creep, I swear!!! He's just being cautious!!!


	3. Bar Hopping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've been here almost a week. You've unpacked finally and fully settled in, so you decided to take your dad's advice and explore the town!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Watch out girl he'll chew you up  
> (Oh, here he comes)  
> he's a skeleton  
> (Oh, here he comes)  
> Watch out girl he'll chew you up  
> (Oh, here he comes)  
> he's a skeleton!   
> (\o3o/)

You tossed the final box into the broom closet, glancing up at the skull and crossbones wall clock Papyrus insisted you needed. By now, all the usual shops have closed up for the night and the nightlife of the town was in full swing.   
  
You remembered your dad had told you to go out on the town after you settled in. you supposed a successful move in and making two new friends plus getting someone to pun at you and chat through the floor/ceiling was something to celebrate. You still never caught his name though. He just kept dancing around any personal questions you asked or any invitations to come down and joke face to face, which struck you as odd.  
  
You could hear Papyrus up there cleaning, but his brother had gone out, something about a place called Grillby's. Maybe you'd check it out if you found where it was during your night out. Maybe you'd get to put a face and name to that wisecracking baritone voice eventually.  
  
You sauntered into your closet, in no real hurry and sifted through your wardrobe, easily finding a casual and comfortable outfit given the warm weather tonight. It consisted of a hilariously self depreciating black t shirt with "I'm with stupid" and an arrow pointing up in white, a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and an old pair of classic black converse you've had since you were a freshman in high school. You weren't the type to carry a purse, too easy for someone to steal right off of you, so you had one of those cute mini backpacks, black leather with gold star shaped zipper pulls. You stashed your phone and wallet inside of it and slung it over your shoulders and tied one of the nerdiest jackets you owned around your hips. It was a Legend of Zelda jacket. You prided yourself in dressing for comfort and to look just off-putting enough to keep most people from trying to take advantage of the fact you were short and a tad scrawny, but your legs held almost every ounce of muscle, fat, and cellulite on your body. You didn't even bother messing with your hair or doing your makeup. You knew you were pretty without having to cake on pigment and plaster. That stuff would only make you look desperate for something you had no interest doing casually with strangers.  
  
You headed out, making sure to lock up your apartment before you left and made extra sure to text Papyrus to let him know you would be out. It paid to have a towering skeleton and terrifying fish woman as best friends, especially since both of them are cops.  
  
You hopped into Silverstreak and texted Papyrus  
  
Y/n: yo, Papy. I'm headin out for a drink, so please don't break my door down while I'm gone ^-^;  
  
Cool Dude: OKAY, Y/N! HAVE FUN AND BE CAREFUL. IF YOU NEED HELP, JUST REMEMBER, I'M ONLY A CALL AWAY!  
  
Y/n: Thanks, Papy! you'll be the first to know if someone hassles me, but it's not like I dressed to impress tonight XD  
  
Cool Dude: AT LEAST YOU DON'T WEAR SHORTS, SLIPPERS AND A JACKET AT THE SAME TIME YEAR ROUND  
  
Y/n: let me guess.... your brother wears that specific combo?  
  
Cool Dude: WOWIE! YOUR DETECTIVE SKILLS ARE MOST IMPRESSIVE!  
  
Y/n: Daw! stahp! ya got me grinnin like an idiot sittin in Silverstreak in the parkin lot!  
  
Cool Dude: ONCE YOU RETURN, YOU'LL HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHY HUMANS FEEL THE STRANGE NEED TO PERSONIFY INANIMATE OBJECTS. SHOULD I NAME MY CAR AS WELL?  
  
Y/n: only if ya want to, honestly. My dad named my car when he bought it for me.  
  
Cool Dude: I SHALL NAME MY BEAUTIFUL VEHICLE BOB! BOB IS A COOL NAME FOR A COOL CAR, YES Y/N?  
  
you laughed so hard you were crying, staring at the cherry red convertible parked next to you  
  
Y/n: Yes, Papy! That name is perfect!  
  


you leaned out your passenger side window and tacked a sticky note to the center of the steering wheel that simply said "BOB" before deciding against driving and simply walked.  
  
You tried several bars, but none of them were very good or they just didn't feel all that welcoming. You were about to give up when a neon sign above you caught your attention. It was a small, simple bar. The patrons seemed to be exclusively monsters. Grillby's. Papyrus's brother might be here. You shrugged and walked in. The patrons all fell silent and all eyes turned to you... the one human that dared to be in that bar in that moment..... You gave a sheepish wave of your hand and everyone went back to what they were doing. A skeleton in a jacket wearing basketball shorts and slippers was seated at the bar, chatting idly to the flame monster behind the bar. You zeroed in and slid onto the barstool directly next to him, knocking on the wood next to him.   
  
"Who's there?" came that familiar baritone voice.  
  
"Ice"  
  
"Ice who?" he grunted, turning to see who you were, and in that instant he saw you, his white pinprick eyelights extinguished and his shit eating grin pulled taught and nervous.  
  
"Ice to finally put a face to a voice, Papyrus's big brother. Mind helping me put a name to complete the trifecta?" you smiled warmly  
  
"y-you're.... how'd you..... huh?" He stammered, caught completely off guard  
  
"Hey, Sans! This human giving you trouble?" a plant monster called across the bar  
  
"so you're name is Sans? Nice to finally properly meet you instead of just punning at each other through my ceiling, neighbor" you giggled, holding your hand out to him.  
  
He hesitated, but eventually grabbed your hand when...  
  
PFPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBPBT  
  
"The old whoppie cushion in the hand trick. Works every time" he shrugged  
  
You lost your shit.... you were laughing so hard that you fell off the bar stool.  
  
"Looks like your shirt says it all" Sans teased, seeming a little tense still, but at least his eyelights were back  
  
You couldn't stop. He slid off the bar stool and offered the boney hand that didn't have the novelty item strapped to it and helped you up. His cheekbones dusted a slight tinge of cyan at the feeling of your smaller, soft hands clasping around his as he stood you back on your feet again.  
  
"so what brings ya out to Grillby's, kiddo?" Sans grinned as you both slid back onto your respective seats.   
  
"before I left home to move here, my dad urged me to explore the town a bit before I have to go back to work here in two weeks. Tried all the other bars, but they just didn't... sit right" you grinned, turning to your right as you sat down all the way  
  
"Hehehe. So, kiddo, what line of work ya getting back to?"  
  
"Fast food. I moved here cause I got a huge promotion from carhop to regional manager and they needed one up here."  
  
"which chain?"  
  
"Sonic Drive In"  
  
"Heard their food was trash"  
  
"oh trust me, the only stuff that's good their are the footlong hot dogs, ice cream, tater tots and drinks. The wings are good, but they're just so frickin expensive!"  
  
"Cheers to that! Yo Grillby! One bottle of ketchup and put her drink on my tab!"  
  
Grillby looked towards you and you just shrugged. "Anything sweet and fruity's fine with me" you grinned.   
  
"you a light weight, kiddo?" Sans turned his eyelights back to you.  
  
"Yeah. Only got three and a half years of drinkin' under my belt, bruh. I'm only 23, cut me some slack."  
  
Grillby returned with Sans's ketchup and a red carbonated drink with a cherry and lime wedge resting atop the ice  
  
You thanked him and took a sip, eyes widening and brows shooting up. "A spiked cherry limeade? You heard the whole spiel about my job, didn't you, Grillby?" you snickered. Grillby nodded silently in response. "Sans, I might have to tag along with you here regularly. Grillby's a mad genius! I already feel at home here! All i'm missin is a DJ doing a karaoke and dance night!." You giggled. There goes that blue blush again.  
  
"That's gonna start here in an hour actually. Friday nights every week a human DJ comes in to liven the place up a bit and draw in a crowd. Boosts the sales." A dizzy looking bunny monster called over to you from a nearby booth.  
  
Sans looked at a loss, torn between protecting the sacred alone time he gets here and seeing that smile of yours some more. He chose the latter. "Gonna cut a rug tonight?" he hummed.  
  
"heck yeah! But on one condition.... you've gotta dance with me or I'll get self conscious" you pouted  
  
"buy me a few rounds and I'll see what I can do. Human dances look complicated and I've got a penchant for laziness, kiddo. Gotta get me pretty hammered to do anything that strenuous"  
  
"Deal! Grillby! keep the ketchup comin! Put it on my card!" you called out, digging your card out of your backpack and sliding it towards him. He took it and filed it away with the other cards of customers with open tabs.   
  
About thirty minutes pass and a large built, well dressed man opened the side door and began dragging in lightbars, speakers a fold up table and various other items. When he set out his tip jar and began the sound check, you jogged over and put a ten dollar bill in, catching him off guard.   
  
"What can I do for you tonight?" he nodded towards you.   
  
"I'm Sans's new neighbor and I agreed to pay for his drinks if he'd dance with me. Can you do me a huge solid and play like.... ALL of the line dance songs in your arsenal at the very beginning? I'm gonna try to get this whole place to get up and dance, and if they see Sans dancing, they might all join in." you rambled, your excitement erupting like a volcano when he nodded his ascent to your request.  
  
"will you be singing any karaoke tonight?"   
  
"Hell yeah!"  
  
"what's your name, sweety?"  
  
"Y/n"  
  
"alright. Got anything specific ya wanna sing?"  
  
You handed him a list of the songs you knew by heart and could pull off singing well.  
  
"Alright. I'll put you on to sing as many of these as I have."  
  
"Oh! And I have a duet that I'm gonna get Sans to sing with me its" you melted into a conspiratorial whisper, aware Sans was approaching.  
  
"Come on, kiddo. Don't scare off the DJ" Sans chortled at your overly excited form as you bounced towards him, grabbing his hands in yours as you continued to jump in excitement. "ohmygodohmygodohmygodthisisgonnabesomuchfunyouhavenoidea!" you squealed.   
  
"slow down, you're speaking gibberish, Y/n" Sans chuckled.  
  
You simply squealed in response.  
  
"Okay, so I told him to start of with line dance songs. just watch me for a few turns and you'll be able to know enough to jump in" You explained to Sans hastily as he downed the last of his ketchup and you dragged him out onto the floor just in time for the first song to start. You even started singing along  
  
"...OH!!!.....OH!!!.......OH!!!!.....OH!!!..... ALL THE SHAWTIES IN THE CLUB, LEMME SEE YA JUST.... BACK IT UP DROP IT DOWN. LEMME SEE YA JUST..... GET LOW SCRUB THE GROUND LEMME SEE YA JUST PUSH IT UP PUSHIT UP LEMME SEE YA JUST-"   
  
you started the line dance, Sans studying the order the moves went  
  
"WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY  
WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY WOBBLE BABY  
GET IN THERE!!! YEAH YEAH!!! GET IN THERE!!! YEAH YEAH!!!GET IN THERE!!! YEAH YEAH!!! GET IN THERE!!! YEAH YEAH!!!  
HEY BIG GIRL, MAKE EM BACK IT UP! MAKE EM BACK IT UP! HEY BIG GIRL, MAKE EM BACK IT UP! MAKE EM BACK IT UP!  
HEY BIG GIRL, MAKE EM BACK IT UP! MAKE EM BACK IT UP! HEY BIG GIRL, MAKE EM BACK IT UP! MAKE EM BACK IT UP!"  
  
Sans flushed, but a deal's a deal. He jumped in, matching your moves to a T  
  
You guided him through Cupid Shuffle, Electric Slide, Copperhead Road, The Macarena and Same Old Two Step. The more you both drank, the more fun and outrageous the night became.  
  
Next thing anyone knew, both of you were up on the stage with microphones in hand slurring through Summer Nights by John Travolta.  
  
  
  
Sure enough before closing time, you had twice the usual amount of people in the bar and all of them were dancing, drinking, singing and having a blast. Grillby even pulled you and Sans aside with the DJ and hashed out a deal. The deal was that you and sans would get unlimited free drinks every friday you came in so long as you both agreed to liven the place up like you had tonight.  
  
You and Sans were stumbling back home, both hanging off of each other. Halfway home, Sans collapsed into a sleeping pile of bones and you had to call Papyrus to come help you two the rest of the way home.  
  
Papyrus speed walked towards you as you struggled to pull Sans up and he hefted you both up, tucked under each arm effortlessly.   
  
"HOW MUCH HAVE YOU TWO BEEN DRINKING!?!"  
  
"I dunno, aye loss counafdr weeeeeee singed sum Jah Travursssssssssssss- a hey, how come skelituns can walk n stuff is ya gots no mussllllllllllssssssssssssssssssss, Papy?" you slurred.   
  
"SSSSSHHHHH, LET'S GET YOU BOTH TO BED. ERM... Y/N, WOULD IT BE OKAY IF YOU JUST SPENT THE NIGHT IN OUR APARTMENT? I WOULDN'T FEEL RIGHT LEAVING YOU ALONE AND DRUNK.... YOU MIGHT... DO SOMETHING AND GET HURT." Papyrus frowned worriedly down at you, his brow bones furrowing in concern when your only response before passing out was "WOOOOOO SLEEP OVER!!! i luv ts gooooo seepovrs"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sans wasn't expecting his new cru-I mean NEIGHBOR to show up at Grillbys!!! But you two ended up the best drunk duo of the night! You can look forward to you and Sans finding solace in your shared hangover in the morning XD


	4. How Did I Get Here?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How you wound up on Sans and Papyrus's living room couch, you have no clue. Last thing you remember was you trying to haul Sans up off the sidewalk and Papyrus carrying you both. WHAT THE HELL!?! WHO TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS!?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The floodgates are about to open! Are you prepared for the skeletal tsunami? Probably not XD

You could hear muffled sounds of tools and metal clanking and heavy rain. You peered through hazy eyes and immediately closed them, wincing as the artificial light assaulted your senses. Your head was pounding like an 808 drum! You faintly registered the sound of an approaching storm. You finally peeled your heavy, sleep-caked eyelids open and sat up, taking in your surroundings. You were on a green couch..... there was a framed picture of a bone on the wall above the banister that lead to the three bedrooms. You remembered where you were now. Papyrus had said he felt better if he could keep an eye on you... but where was he?  
  
The sky outside the window in front of you was nearly pitch black with.... wait.... you noticed something off about those clouds.  
  
"SANS!?! PAPYRUS!?!" you called out. Just as the two emerged from upstairs a bright flash of lightning and a deafening clap of thunder directly overhead made you cringe as the sirens wailed to life. The two froze.  
  
"Y/N WHAT'S HAPPENING!?!" Papyrus quivered, Sans looking around bewildered. The front door slammed open, Sid's terrified expression barely visible against the curtains of rain pelting down.  
  
"Hey!!! We gotta get to shelter!!! There's a tornado tearing it's way across the interstate only 10 miles away!!!" Sid yelled The lights all got brighter, a loud humming sound, a crack of lightning smacked against the roof above Sans's room-  
  
Everything went dark, a loud cacophony of sound coming from Sans's room causing him to run (A rare sight) to his room.  
  
"What the- .... Who are you all? Where did you come fro-...... MY MACHINE!!!!" Sans's muffled voice broke through the deafening noise.  
  
You and Papyrus ran up the stairs to check on Sans. The two of you nearly burst the door off it's hinges, but froze....  
  
Your words of concern caught in your throat and all you could do was just...... stare  
  
"S-Sans?......" You voiced.  
  
Half the eyes in the room turned to you, including Sans himself, followed by a chorus of "'Yeah?"  
  
"oh my god, you cloned yourself and your brother!!!" You slapped a hand over your mouth, trying to hide the panic in your voice  
  
"Actually.... I think I pulled myself from different points in time and space... damn it, I knew I should have powered down the machine before the storm got close." Your Sans scowled.  
  
"CAN'T YOU JUST..... SEND THEM BACK WITH THE MACHINE?" your Papyrus voiced.  
  
"nope.... machine exploded.... literally.... it's unsalvageable.... I-I'll have to start over!" Sans blanched   
  
"Hey, lil' bro....." a grey, creepy looking version of Sans's thunder-roll voice rumbled.  
  
"YES, BROTHER?" A corresponding Papyrus next to him responded.  
  
"tornado problem." The unsettling sans sighed.  
  
The Papyrus look-alike pushed past you and looked out the living room window. "I SEE! BASED ON THE ROTATION AND CURRENT VELOCITY...-" he snapped his fingers and..... wait, where'd it go? "IT'S GONE" The Papyrus copy grinned triumphantly  
  
"Wai- wha- ........ HOW!!!!" you and Sid stuttered in unison.   
  
"SILLY HUMANS, I _AM_ A TORNADO!"  
  
"so... that was........ _you?_ " you gawked  
  
"INDEED!!! T'WAS I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS!"  
  
A loud chorus of "BUT _I_ AM THE GREAT PAPYRUS!" followed  
  
"I told you, that machine was gonna cause a disaster, Sans" Sid sighed, coming inside and plopping on the couch, rubbing his temples   
  
"Please don't charge us extra rent for this, Sid." Sans swallowed thickly  
  
"I won't.... just..... tell you what.... If the different yous all help fix up Y/n's apartment before the state condemns it and kicks her out, I'll let them stay in the five other empty apartments rent free... but they'll be in charge of their own bills, furniture, etcetera." Sid groused  
  
"Deal" Sans relaxed  
  
"Um.... just voicing an opinion here, but um..... won't things get confusing with..." you took a head count " nine Sanses and seven Papyruses all with the same names? We need to like..... I dunno.... give them nicknames so we don't have to differentiate by saying like... edgy looking Sans or tornado Papyrus.... if that makes sense..." You butted in.  
  
"You're right on that one, sweetheart" the edgy looking Sans nodded, moving over to loop an arm around your waist.  
  
"hands off the merchandise, Red." you deadpanned, pushing away from him.  
  
"Red? I like the sound of that" he smirked  
  
"you there, starry eyes. Your nickname?"  
  
"OH!!! CALL ME BLUE!!!"  
  
"I DON'T _WANT_ A NICKNAME!!!" The two that looked like a mix of Red and Blue grumbled  
  
"okay, purple me, you're thistle, and the Hot Topic lookin other me is Thorn, cause I can already tell you two are gonna be thorns in my side" Sans grinned  
  
A military looking Sans wearing orange goggles on his forehead seemed to be standing awkwardly in the corner. It looked like he had been pulled here straight from the front lines of a war. He was holding probably the most outrageously large box wrench you had ever seen. He was two heads taller than you and it looked like he had some serious muscles. He leaned the wrench against the wall and crouched down, picking up bits of exploded machine.  
  
"....Gears...." He muttered. His voice held a slightly deeper, rich timbre to it compared to Sans's, completed by a southern drawl  
  
All eyes turned to him, conversations and arguments halting.  
  
"My new name.... It's Gears" he reiterated, salvaging a few pieces and trying to put them back together. "Thought I had somethin, but the screws have too many burrs in em to use safely. It'll take _years_ to get this infernal contraption built from the ground up again to send us back.... we might as well make ourselves comfy in this universe, cuz we ain't gonna be goin back to our homesteads for a _long_ time, fellas." Gears frowned pensively, rubbing his chin as he stood.  
  
You didn't know what it was about Gears, but he gave you major dad vibes.... like you could imagine him having a kid your age, but he looked to be around your age.  
  
"So, who's bunking with who?" A Sans with.... was that hair?... it looked like magenta dyed hair. The tornado Papyrus also had what appeared to be hair. You'd have to ask about that later. His voice was a bit higher pitched than Sans's and for lack of better comparison. he sounded like if you took a Ke$ha song and pitched it down to sound like a guy was singing. He also looked like he was dressed to go to a party or a raaaaaaaa-wait  
  
"Well, Rave-" you grinned  
  
He looked at you.... he _responded_ to your impromptu nickname for him.... success!!!  
  
"-I figured we'd get that sorted based on which people are less likely to murder each other... Gears is kind of a wild card, so maybe We'll figure everyone else out first?" You continued.  
  
"I can run with the tough crowd" Gears chuckled jovially. "Put me in with the bad boys and big guy over there and whoever else might be lookin to tussle. I can keep em in line and I don't take up much room, so territorial shit don't effect me much."   
  
"Gears.... you're fuckin huge!!! _'Don't take up much room'_ my boney ass!" Red's sultry New York accent cut in. "You work out or somethin?"  
  
"Sure as shit do!" Gears snorted  
  
"Let's see those assets, Gears~" Rave purred  
  
"...." Gears blanched, cheek bones dusting mango orange "uuuummm .... don't ask, don't tell.... but I can show off when it comes time for me to do my daily workout... " Gears coughed dryly  
  
"Oh come one Gears! Can... Can you bench press me?" You bounced excitedly  
  
"Y/n, I don't think it's a good idea to get too fond of these guys. They're going back as soon as the machine's fixed, the whole lot of them, end of story." Sans hisses through gritting teeth"

"I can bench press a steam train caboose. I've done it before. You should'a seen the look on Mettaton's face when I did! It was priceless!" Gears snickered "no need to get all blank-socket on me, Sans. I ain't gonna steal your mate, buddy. I'd only do anything if she outright told me to." Gears continued.  
  
"She's not my mate! She's my neighbor, you hillbilly asshole!" Sans snapped  
  
"Hey. I take offence to that. Ain't no damn hillbilly. I could burn ya to a crisp where you stand, Sans" Gears groused, wisps of black smoke curling past his fangs as his visibly bristled.  
  
Everyone stood in an awkward silence, eyelights glued to the tendrils of smoke  
  
"GEARS, YOU KNOW FIRE MAGIC!?! WOWIE!!! DO YOU STILL HOLD THE CAPABILITY OF USING BLUE AND BONE ATTACKS?" Papyrus gasped  
  
Gears tensed. The fact he and Rave were making a conscious effort not to look at any of the Papyruses in the room didn't go unnoticed. "yup... Fire magic, blue magic, bone attacks, and my blood's a black colored liquid metal that I can manipulate, but it's a last ditch type of deal. I have to be injured to use it. I can chose to use it to hold my injuries together to keep going in a fight, I can use it in a similar way to bone attacks, and I can use it as a shield if I'm bleeding badly enough." Gears replied softly  
  
"I have very powerful healing magic, but that's all I have as far as magic goes" Rave admitted.  
  
"HMPH.... RAVE, YOU'RE A PANZY!!!" Red's Papyrus snarled  
  
"Well _excuse me, Edge!_ At least I can tank a hell of a lot more damage in a fight, cause I can just keep healing myself!" Rave spat  
  
Edge closed the distance, grabbing Rave's arm and yanking it into an unnatural angle, earing a sickening snapping sound. Rave's scream was deafening. blood gushed and tricked down his arm. Edge had twisted Rave's upper arm, splintering the bone, but ensuring it was still attached.  
  
"HEAL THAT, WEAKLING!!!" Edge grinned. Not releasing his hold on Rave's arm, ensuring it remained in that gut wrenching position.  
  
Gears was the first to react, rushing Edge and clocking him in the middle section of his spine, grabbing his hands and digging his thumbs in hard enough to make Edge reflexively let go of Rave and slammed him face down on the carpeted floor, keeping his hands in an iron grip and placing a boot clad foot on his upper back  
  
 **"L e t ' s n o t g e t v i o l e n t h m m m , E d g e ?"** Gears snarled, left eye socket gone blank and the left flared with a cat-like red slit with an orange ring surrounding it while he bared his fangs. His body visibly bulked as if flesh suddenly covered his body save for his neck, skull, from his forearms down and from his knees down.  
  
Rave's eyelights went from red with magenta hearts in the middle to magenta with red X's in the middle, nursing his injured arm as he twisted it back, the bone groaning in protest as the injury fully reversed in the span of 10 seconds. He flexed his hand open and closed a few timed and rolled his shoulder.  
  
"That still hurt, asshole. I'd kick your ass for that if Gears hadn't stepped in" Rave pouted  
  
The largest Sans in the room stared at the blood staining Rave's arm, digging his fingers into his unlit right socket opposite of the gaping hole in his skull and tugged down hard, creepy smile stretching tight. "I like blood" his devilishly deep voice rumbled.  
  
"Well then why don't we call you Blood, big guy?" Rave mused, wiping the blood away with a white handkerchief he pulled out of his back shorts pocket   
  
"Blood" The giant mused in return. "good" he rumbled  
  
"Get off my lil bro, ya flaming asshat! He got the point the second ya pinned him!" Red snarled  
  
Gears released Edge, who proceeded to stand, two heads taller than Gears but much thinner, and stepped up to him. Gears leveled him with a glare that could turn sand to glass and met the challenge, standing straight, holding his ground. The two alpha males locked in a battle of auras to assert dominance.  
  
"Okay you two, let's calm down and taco bout this" A Papyrus that looked very Sans-like in appearance and attitude strode up, only slightly taller than Gears by a few inches, and patted them both on the shoulders  
  
Gears's electrifying gaze leveled the Papyrus. "Back down, Stretch." He mumbled.  
  
The aptly nicknamed Stretch flinched, looking like he saw his worst fear in those eyes. Even Edge seemed to falter a bit  
  
"YOU..... YOU'VE SEEN WAR AND THE DEATH IT BRINGS ON A PERSONAL LEVEL... HAVEN'T YOU?..... YOU LOST YOUR BROTHER....... DIDN'T YOU?" Edge's voice dropped a few decibels.  
  
"His...." Gears backed down a bit, seeming to be in his own mind as he recounted. "He was a pilot..... humans.... they..... they were relentless.... it wasn't enough that they backed us into a cave.... they wouldn't rest until monsters were extinct.... they..... they shot him right out of the sky..... in my universe.... I'm the younger brother.... Papyrus was my older brother..... I was still just a recruit when it happened.... I ran.... I ran to the crash site...... I pulled him from the wreckage.... the medics couldn't make it to us fast enough. He dusted right in my arms and there wasn't a damn thing I could do about it. I still struggle with PTSD over it.... I've seen and done so much that I wish I could just put behind me and forget.... but life's cruel... so it stays fresh in my mind." Gears took a shivering breath, sounding like he had told the story over a dozen times in his life. "But that happened a long time ago. I still wear his goggles and scarf as a way of keeping him close to me even though he's not here anymore."  
  
"WHAT ABOUT YOURS, RAVE?"   
  
"He was dusted by someone over the 5g in his wallet... he was only 15..... I became a vigilante to make sure no one would have that happen to them again."  
  
"You? A vigilante? No way." Red snorted  
  
"I will dust you in your sleep." Rave sneered "I have clear sight of the right pressure point combo to take you out right here and now, love, so don't tempt me~"  
  
"Okay, back on track!-" Sans interrupted. "We've got Red, Blue, Thistle, Thorn, Gears, Rave, Blood, Edge, Stretch.... we still need nicknames for the creepy fuck with the scary face, his tornado brother, Blood's brother, Thistle and Thorn's brothers... Nicknames, people, what are they?"  
  
you approached the "creepy fuck" in question. "So... your brother's the living embodiment of a tornado, right?"  
  
He grunted in acknowledgement  
  
"What are you then?" you pressed further  
  
"Hurricane" He replied with a shrug  
  
"Mathew" You declared, earning the quirk of several brow bones.  
  
"why Mathew?" he hummed  
  
"because, hurricane Mathew looked like a skull on the doppler radar at one point, and you look like that radar image." You answered  
  
"Sounds legit to me.... but just call me Mat.... s'easier ta say" Mathew grunted  
  
"okay, so now we've got Mat." You cheered  
  
"Rus n' Cash" Thorn's brother spoke up. "I'm Rus, n' Thistle's bro's Cash... cause he's obsessed with the stuff"  
  
"Okay, so that leaves Blood and Mat's brothers. I feel like we should keep the theme rolling with Blood, so how's about his brother's Gore?" you grinned like an idiot.  
  
"OH! I SIMPLY ADORE IT, HUMAN!!!" Gore clapped  
  
"CALL ME SQUALL!!! IT SOUNDS LIKE A COOL NAME FOR SOMEONE OF MY CALIBUR OF WIND VELOCITY AND PURE UNADULTERATED AWESOMENESS!" the tornado skeleton grinned excitedly  
  
"okay, now that names are out of the way, we've gotta figure out where everyone's stayin" Gears drawled   
  
"Each apartment is three bedrooms, and I'm not offering up all of them. I still need a few in case someone wants to move in." Sid finally spoke up  
  
"Some of us are cool with takin the couch, so we could fit four to an apartment." Rus assured him  
  
"I'D HATE TO SPLIT BROTHERS UP" Papyrus grimaced  
  
"I refuse to share this apartment." Sans voiced indignantly. "The machine will be built in our third room"  
  
"I can't promise I won't keep my hands to myself with how hot some of you boys are.~" Rave purred  
  
"Rave likes guys confirmed! Okay! I think I have an idea on who should stay with who now. Rave, you'll stay with Y/n. Stretch, Blue, Cash, and Thistle, you four get unit four. Blood, Gore, Mat, Squall, you four get unit seven. Edge, Red, Thorn and Rus, you get six..... Gears?.... " Sans paused  
  
"I could stay with Y/n and Rave. Someone's gotta be strong enough to make any uninvited guests turn tail and git." Gears offered.   
  
"Okay.... but the second I hear you trying some kind of half-baked revenge for your brother's death, **you'll join him**." Sans scowled  
  
"I don't hate all humans for the acts of the few. Besides, this isn't my universe, so it stands to reason humans are different here to some extent and I know for a fact who did it, and I ended his life shortly after. Besides... my Frisk defected to the monster side of the war after they found out human propaganda was bullshit first hand. But before I was pulled here, things were looking grim... so once you send me back, if this happens again I won't be coming back cause I'll be dead anyways. This fiasco only prolonged the inevitable. But I can fix up her apartment good as new starting tomorrow."  
  
"Big guy like you has to have a weakness given all that extra power. What's your kryptonite, Gears?" Sans pressed  
  
"Water.... can't touch the stuff. I have certain safety measures in place just in case, but better safe than sorry. It drops my HP like a hot knife through room temp butter." Gears responded.  
  
"Ew! does that mean you don't shower!?! Gross, dude!!!" you gagged, taking several steps back.  
  
"I just set myself on fire and all the dirt just burns off. I can be around other liquids, just not water or ice. I can drink alcohol, juice, soda, etcetera, but just plain water in enough to kill me in large enough quantities, so if a prank war breaks out, please refrain from the water bucket over the door crap so you don't kill me while I'm here. I may be a dead man walking here, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with dying either."   
  
"Would a hydrophobic solution counteract that Achilles heel of yours?" Rave inquired  
  
"worth a shot I guess" Gears shrugged.  
  
"Well, I think it's time for everyone to head to their respective apartments and start setting up furniture and whatever else you all do." Sans interjected  
  
"Wait! Before everyone goes, can I get a couple group pictures?" You pouted, pulling out your phone.  
  
"Why do you want pictures?.... **_fine_**.....Make it quick, Y/n." Sans crossed his arms in defeat  
  
  
  
  
later that day you printed out the pictures and tacked them to your wall in your bedroom, writing everyone's names over them so you don't forget who's who  
  
........  
  
........  
  
........  
  
 _ **Sans:** I wonder why I feel so drawn to her?  
  
 **Papyrus:** I DO HOPE SHE'LL BE ALRIGHT TONIGHT_  
  
 _ **Red:** Damn, she's hot! Wonder if she'd show me a good time some time~!  
  
_ _ **Edge:** GEARS WILL PAY FOR MAKING A FOOL OF ME!!! I'LL DROWN HIM AND FLUSH HIS DUST DOWN THE DAMN TOILET!!!  
  
_ _ **Blue:** STARS, EDGE IS SO MEAN!!! I'LL HAVE TO GIVE HIS A PIECE OF MY MIND IF HE DOES SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN!!!  
  
_ _ **Stretch:** I don't trust that Edge guy. Y/n's so small he could snap her like a twig. Kinda glad Gears is bunking with her in case Edge gets cocky and tries to kill her  
  
_ _ **Thistle:** THAT OTHER ME, WHAT WAS HIS NAME? BLUE? HE'S MAKING ME LOOK SOFT WITH HIS VERY EXISTANCE!!! I MUST REMEDY THIS SITUATION AT MY EARLIEST CONVENIENCE!!!  
  
_ _ **Cash:** Y/n's such a damn sucker! I can't believe she didn't notice I swiped a card from her wallet! nyehe!!! And she even has the pin on a sticky note attached to it!!! I wonder how much is on it anyways. I'll find out tomorrow.  
  
_ _ **Thorn:** THAT HEATHEN CASH STOLE THE HUMAN'S BANK CARD!!! THE NERVE OF THAT WHELP!!! RUS BETTER RETURN IT TOMORROW, OR I'LL BE FIT TO BE TIED!!!  
  
_ _ **Rus:** M'lord seems to be interested by that girl. I'll have to be sure to keep a closer eye on Cash to make sure this don't happen again  
  
_ _ **Blood:** she's so tiny. I had so many chances to kill her today. She's not afraid of me. Such a naïve little human she is~   
  
__**Gore:** I WONDER IF Y/N LIKES SPAGHETTI!!!  
  
_ _ **Mat:** Why did my chest feel so strange around that girl? Note to self, avoid her at all costs  
  
_ _ **Squall:** I MESSED UP BIG TIME!!! I SCARED THEM ALL AND PUT THEM IN DANGER!!! THEY PROBABLY HATE ME NOW!!!  
  
_ _ **Gears:** Edge has some nerve. My mission's to keep Y/n safe and happy. It'd help if I knew her better  
  
_ _ **Rave:** Y/n's jeans today were SOOOOOOOO CUTE!!! I need to get a pair for myself!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot my watermark in the Papyrus group pic, but whatever. You get to know Gears and Rave a bit better next chapter! Anyone hoping to have a chance with Rave, too bad, he's gay as fuck, but he's so much fun to hang out with, so I hope that makes up for it!


	5. A Day With Your New Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend the day out with Gears and Rave!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You get to know two of my own AU Sanses a bit better and get some more time with Sans and a handful of the others at the mall!!! Also, be warned... I HC Blue as having childish meltdowns when he's bored or doesn't get his way, and Stretch has had it up to here with the tantrums over the years

You wake up to the sound of strange shuffling sounds and grunting. It's five in the fucking morning, what the hell!?!  
  
You reluctantly slide out of bed and trudge out of your room to see what the noise was. Gears's door was open, but judging by Rave's closed door and no light coming from within, he was still asleep.  
  
You stagger towards Gears's room and are greeted by him doing sit-ups..... shirtless.... orange pseudo muscles glistening with sweat as they flexed with the motions like human muscles would.  
  
Your face was burning up, but you couldn't tear your eyes away.  
  
  
  
"Mph, like what ya see, princess?" Gears chuckled  
  
Your face wet full tomato mode. "I-I-I was w-wonderin what all the noise was, that's all!" you stammered  
  
He paused, resting his elbows on his knees  
  
"Sorry I woke ya up. Gotta keep in shape, and it's easier to work out in the early mornin cause you have more motivation to get it done and over with. I just finished. If ya want, I can cook breakfast while ya relax and wake up a bit more."  
  
"I uh... I have a question.... that orange stuff on your bones... and Rave and Squall's hair.... what's up with that? What is it?"   
  
"It's ectoplasm. A form of magic unique to skeleton monsters. It's for aesthetic purposes. It feels different depending on how it's applied. Ecto hair feels similar to hair, ecto bodies feel similar to skin, ecto tongues feel like normal tongues, only difference is you can feel the magic when you touch it, so it kind of does this weird numbing crackly thing... sort of like pop candy or the fizz from soda I guess" Gears hummed.  
  
"That's frickin epic. So can all skeletons do it?"  
  
"yup! Some prefer not to. It's a personal preference type thing.... sooooooo, about breakfast? You never answered my question"  
  
"Oh! Sure, if you want to."

Gears stood up, wiping his forehead with his wrist. "Go ahead and take your time with your morning routine, breakfast'll be ready in a wink." Gears winked at you to emphasize his point..... aaaaaaaaaaaaand you're blushing again  
  
You went back to your room, grabbing a pair of shorts and a spaghetti-strap shirt and headed to the bathroom, enjoying a long shower, letting the hot water temporarily wash away the world for a bit before hopping out, drying off, getting dressed, and tying your hair in a ponytail, brushing your teeth and heading down the stairs to find three plates on the table with pancakes, eggs, and bacon with cups of coffee and Gears cleaning up the mess wearing a pair of dish gloves to avoid touching water.   
  
"I better go wake Rave up before his plate gets cold." he grunted, drying the pan off and putting it away.   
  
"Thank you, Gears!" you called after him as he walked out to go get Rave up.  
  
It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad either. The bacon was a tad to crispy and you had to drown the nearly tasteless pancakes in syrup, but food is food and your stomach was growling.  
  
Gears returned dragging a half asleep Rave into the room and plopping him in a chair.  
  
"But it's all empty calories!" Rave whined   
  
"You'll eat it and like it." Gears huffed, sipping on his coffee as he sat down to eat his, drowning the eggs in hot sauce and even taking a swig straight from the bottle, making you scrunch your face in disgust.  
  
"What?" Gears shrugged "I like hot sauce! Is that a crime?"  
  
"Yes!" you gagged  
  
"Shit, really!?" he blanched  
  
"No, I was over exaggerating. I meant that's kind of gross to drink it!" you snickered  
  
"Gears is a major stickler for abiding by the law" Rave droned, picking at his plate and nibbling a bit here and there.  
  
"Drink your coffee and liven up a bit, Rave" Gears grinned, gesturing with his fork to the untouched mug before starting on his pancakes without adding any syrup or butter.  
  
"Oh shit, I didn't see the mug there!" Rave chimed, adding sugar to his coffee and drinking the whole cup in one go  
  
"I'm blind in my right eye and even I knew exactly where the mug was" Gears chuckled  
  
"Gears, you know syrup's a pancake's best friend" You chided  
  
"m'not keen on sweets, princess" he shrugged, taking another dry, bland looking mouthful of pancake onto his fork and eating it like it was perfectly fine. His plate was clean before you or Rave were even halfway done eating.  
  
"You know there's no rush. You could have eaten a little... less grotesquely fast." Rave cringed.  
  
"It's a military thing. You only get 10 minutes from the time you sit down to eat where I'm from." he hummed, getting up to wash his dishes, dawning the yellow dish gloves for the task once more.  
  
"So Y/n, What's on the agenda today?" Rave grinned, the caffeine kicking in.  
  
"Nothin much. Why? You got somethin you wanna do?"   
  
"Let's go to the mall!!!" Rave cheered  
  
"I'm down for that. Gears, you should come with us! And Silverstreak has room for two more! We should invite a few more of the guys to tag along too!" You chirped.  
  
"Silverstreak?" Rave and Gears parroted   
  
"That's uh.... That's what I call my car. Papy calls his Bob" you elaborated.  
  
"That's so cool on so many levels, you have no idea, chickadee" Rave had literal stars in his eyes.  
  
"You two done with your plates? Hand em over and I'll wash em right quick"  
  
You and Rave surrendered your dishes. you threw on your shoes and the two of you ran out the front door.  
  
First stop was unit 3. "Hey Rave, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?" Your lips curling into a shit eating grin as you proceeded to rapid fire spam the doorbell.  
  
"Hah! That _is_ pretty annoying" Rave snickered  
  
"Not that,.... _this_ " you snorted, taking in as much air as your lungs could hold  
  
A half asleep Sans answered.  
  
"SansdoyouandPapywannagotothemallwithus!?!" You screeched   
  
Sans didn't respond right away, his eyes narrowing in confusion "come again, kiddo?"   
  
Rave was dying of laughter  
  
"Dooooooo you.... want.... to go.... _to.... **THE MALL!?!"**_ you repeated  
  
"Yo, bro! Y/n's goin to the mall and wants to know i-"  
  
Papyrus nearly ran Sans over "THE MALL!?! CAN THE GREAT PAPYRUS ACOMPANY YOU!?!"   
  
"Yes!" You grinned "I'm gonna try to get some of the other to tag along too. Thus far it's me, you, Sans, Rave, and Gears."  
  
"LET'S TRY TO GET ENOUGH PEOPLE TO GET BOTH OF OUR CARS TO FULL SAFE CAPACITY!"  
  
"Will do, Papy! Come on, Rave! Next stop, unit 4!"  
  
You were about to knock on 4 when you spotted Rus heading toward your apartment.  
  
"Yo, Rus! You wanna go to the mall with us~!?!" Rave grinned  
  
"sure, been needin some time away from m'lord anyways." He shrugged, approaching and holding out a card... your debit card  
  
"Rus, why do you have this?" You blinked  
  
"Cash picked yer pockets, darlin'. So I picked it off him to give it back to ya. Watch it around that thief from now on, 'kay?" He drawled  
  
You decided to put it where no one would dare take it from.... in your bra.  
  
Rus's face was practically painted a dull orange.  
  
You quirked a brow. "You okay, Rus?"  
  
"Yeah... you uh..... nevermind. Who all's taggin along?"  
  
"Well thus far we've got Rave, Gears, Sans, Papyrus, and you. Our goal is to have both cars full. The more the merrier!"  
  
"M'lord's spendin the day relaxin with a crossword book. Said not ta bother 'im, so there's yer first no go." Rus lit up a.... was.... was that a dog treat?.... he's smoking.... a dog treat.  
  
Rave knocked on the door, Blue answering eerily fast.  
  
"MY BROTHER AND I SHALL ACCOMPANY YOU!" He blurted.   
  
"Were you listening by the door, Blue?" Rave tutted  
  
"I HEARD VOICES OUTSIDE AND HEARD YOUR CONVERSATION!" Blue bounced excitedly.  
  
"Cash, you're banned from this for stealing my debit card!" You called into the apartment  
  
"I SHALL BE GOING AS WELL, HUMAN... IF ONLY TO KEEP BLUE FROM MAKING A MOCKERY OF MY SUPERIORITY!" Thistle groused from his spot on the couch between Stretch and Cash  
  
after a few minutes of asking around, you had Gears, Rave, Rus, Blue, Stretch, Sans, Papyrus, Thistle and Red. You almost had two cars full.   
  
"I call shotgun!" Red grunted, getting in the front passenger side of your car. Rave took the back driver side, Sans in center back, and Gears sitting back passenger side. The rest piled into Papy's convertible. It was an hour long drive to the nearest mall.  
  
Red busied himself with the radio dial. "never any good songs on the radio anymore." he groused.  
  
"Sans, connect my phone to it and hit the road trip playlist" you hummed, handing your phone back to him  
  
_'I wonder what kind of music she listens to_ ' He though, taking your phone and starting the playlist.  
  
You tapped your thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat of the first song started up.  
  
Everyone perked up. Seems they all like the old school stuff to some extent.  
  
"Tommy used to work on the docks! Union's been on strike! He's down on his luck. It's tough..... ooooooo so tough." Red sang along  
  
"Gena works the diner all day! Working for her man. She brings home her pay for love.... oooooo for love." Rave jumped in  
  
"She says we've gotta hold on to what we've got! It doesn't make a difference if we make it or not! We've got each other, and that's a lot for love.... WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT! **WHOOOOOOAAAAA WE'RE HALF WAAAAYY THEEEERE!!! WHOOOOOOOAAAA!!! LIVIN ON A PRAYER!!! TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR!!! WHOOOOOOOAAAA!!! LIIIIVIN ON A PRAAAAYER!!!"** The whole car full of skeleton and yourself belted out as loud as you all could  
  
"Johnny's got his six-string in hock! Now he's holdin in what he used to make it talk so tough.... ooooooo it's tough" Gears grinned, leaning forward in his seat.  
  
"Gena dreams of runnin away! She cries in the night, Tommy whispers, BABY IT'S OOOKAAAAYYYY.... soooooomedaaaayyyy" Sans sang next  
  
  
"WE'VE GOT TO HOLD ON TO WHAT WE'VE GOT  
IT DOESN'T MAKE A DIFFERENCE IF WE MAKE IT OR NOT  
WE'VE GOT EACH OTHER AND THAT'S A LOT FOR LOVE  
WE'LL GIVE IT A SHOT  
WOAH, WE'RE HALF WAY THERE  
WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER  
TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR  
WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER  
LIVIN' ON A PRAYER  
**OH, WE'VE GOT TO HOLD ON, READY OR NOT**  
**YOU LIVE FOR THE FIGHT WHEN IT'S ALL THAT YOU'VE GOT**  
**WOAH, WE'RE HALF WAY THERE**  
**WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER**  
**TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR**  
**WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER**  
**WOAH, WE'RE HALF WAY THERE**  
**WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER**  
**TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR**  
**WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER**  
**WOAH, WE'RE HALF WAY THERE**  
**WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER**  
**TAKE MY HAND, WE'LL MAKE IT I SWEAR**  
**WOAH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!!!"**   
  
Everyone was having a blast singing along to all the old school music. You wondered what the skeletons in the other car were up to.  
  
"Blue, sit back down!!!" Stretch growled, trying to get the overly excited Sans variant to stop waving at the car behind them, having to twist at an awkward angle to try to pull him back down into the back seat.  
  
"RUS, DO SOMETHING! BLUE MIGHT GET HURT!" Papyrus pleaded.  
  
"I SAY LET THE IMBECILE LEARN THE HARD WAY! SHOVE HIM OUT THE BACK ON THE NEXT SPEED BUMP!" Thistle smirked  
  
Rus grabbed Blue by the back of his bandanna and roughly yanked him down, clipped the seatbelt down on him, and held it there.  
  
"IIIII'M BOOOOOOAAAARRRD!!!" Blue whined, kicking the back of Stretch's seat in front of him.  
  
"Blue, stop acting like a baby bones! You're a full grown skeleton! Sit down, be quiet, and enjoy the car ride, or you're going back to the apartment!" Stretch snapped.   
  
Thistle bopped Blue upside the back of his skull.  
  
"PAAAAAPYYYYYYYYY, THISTLE HIT ME!!!" Blue wailed  
  
"I SWEAR ON ASGORE'S BEARD, I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND!!!" Papyrus screeched, eyes boggling.  
  
"When we drive back, we're changing the seating arrangement." Rus grumbled, taking a long drag off the dog treat clamped between his teeth.  
  
"agreed" Stretch sighed, lighting up a cigarette.  
  
What luck! two parking spaces open right next to each other! only downside?.... they were the farthest from the building entrance.  
  
"Why do you all look stressed already?" Gears nodded to the convertible crew as they pulled up.  
  
Stretch simply jerked a thumb back at his brother, who looked like he'd explode at any moment.  
  
"We're changing who rides where on the way back" Rus sighed.  
  
"I'll sit next to Blue on the way back to keep him occupied if you want." you offered. "who wants to drive Silverstreak back?"   
  
"It's a stick, right? My old pickup truck in my world's a stick too. I can drive him back.... but anyone that rides with me can't complain about country music."  
  
"I'm cool with country" Rus shrugged  
  
"too twangy for my taste." Stretch hummed, switching from smoking to rolling a sucker between his teeth  
  
"I'LL TOLLERATE IT, IF ONLY TO GET AWAY FROM BLUE AND HIS INCESANT WHINING." Thistle slumped his shoulders, glaring at Blue and taking a few steps away from him.   
  
"Country's gross... but I suppose I can deal for an hour." Rave pouted.  
  
"I call Y/n's other side if she sits in the middle." Red winked at you  
  
You blushed.... why are these skeletons making you blush!?! What the hell is wrong with you?  
  
"It's a long walk to the entrance. We should probably-.... Gears? What are you-?" you went beet red  
  
Gears was crouched with his back to you. "Hop on, I'll carry you. Did some research on my phone to see what all's nearby and what not. Noticed your shoes are a bit worse for wear, and I found a good quality pair of shoes on one of the shoe store websites and they have your size in stock. I may or may not have checked the size on your shoes after you went to bed last night. You shouldn't do too much walkin in beat up old shoes. Not good for ya, princess"  
  
You climbed on his back and he hefted you up, holding your thighs.  
  
"But shoe shopping's _my_ thing! Tell him, chickadee!" Rave protested  
  
"You can tag along if ya want, just try to keep up!" Gears chuckled, turning towards the building and whisking you off full sprint.  
  
You hollered and giggled like a maniac, clinging your arms tight around his neck. His hood floof was so soft! You nuzzled your face into it. He smelled like a mix of a bonfire and metal with a hint of mangos.  
  
"So, Gears. What were those freckles on your bones when I woke up this morning and saw you shirtless?" you pried.  
  
"Smelting accident. Alphys had a crucible of molten bronze. I was helpin her figure out why the metal wasn't casting right. She tripped and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."  
  
"And all those scars?"  
  
"War's not kind, princess. But at least I'm proud of my scars. Each one tells a story." Gears tutted  
  
"No fair! You got to see him shirtless and I didn't" Rave pouted, somehow able to run fast enough to keep up in the wedge heel boots he wore. "Spill the details, chickadee! Is he ripped?"  
  
"She's not at liberty to gossip about my rippling pectorals!" Gears cut in  
  
"Oh! He's massive! Fit as a Clydesdale stallion!" You grinned  
  
"Oooooo, do tell~!" Rave drooled  
  
"Stop it! You're egging him on! I don't need him trying to jump my bones! I'm not looking for a boyfriend! I want y-" Gears blanched, slapping a hand over his mouth.  
  
You and Rave exchanged glances  
  
"You want what?" Rave smirked  
  
"Nothing!!!" Gears deflected  
  
' _I can't believe I'm falling for her! Stupid idiot! You're only gonna break her heart when you get sent back and dusted! You can't fall for her knowing damn well you'll hurt her by accepting your fate! Sans is sending you back knowing damn well he's condemning you in doing so! Swallow those feelings! Burry them!!!'_ Gears internally berated himself  
  
"You like Y/n, don't you, Gears?" Rave flashed a shit eating grin his way.  
  
"I don't!!! I mean, I do, but I-I ju- she- I'm-.... bah, you know what I mean!!!" Gears stammered, face burning orange, earning a giggle from you.  
  
The three of you arrived at the entrance, the rest of the group trailing behind. Gears insisted on carrying you the rest of the way to the shoe store, garnering stares from humans and monsters alike.  
  
Gears spotted the shoes instantly, setting you down on one of the seats in the aisle and retrieving your size from the stack.  
  
They were a black pair of black running shoes with yoga mat insoles and slip resistant tread on the bottom. You slipped them on and walked up and down the aisle. They felt amazing!!!   
  
"Know ya gotta go back to work soon, so I figured new work shoes are in order. I'll even add a steel toe to em so ya don't get hurt at work. I always keep a few extra steel toe inserts on me in case mine get ruined and I gotta switch em out." Gears blushed a tad, scratching the back of his skull.  
  
"Y/n! Check out these shoes! Aren't they the cutest!?!" Rave squealed, pointing down to a pair of purple strappy wedge heel ankle boots he was trying on.  
  
"I'm more of a combat boot girl myself. I can't do heels, but they look fabulous on you. You should get em!" You flashed him a thumbs up  
  
Rave helped you pick out a few more pairs of shoes and piled on a few more pairs for himself.  
  
As you left the store, you couldn't help but laugh at Red, Thistle, and Rus all grouped together in front of Spencer's.  
  
You jogged up to them in one of your new pairs of sneakers, Rave sliding up to the group before you even made it halfway there.  
  
"What's the matter, boys? Intimidated by this store's back wall inventory~?" Rave cooed  
  
"What do they got on the back wall that'd be intimidatin'?" Red quirked a brow bone  
  
"Go in and find out~"  
  
Now _this_ you had to see! You followed them in.  
  
"THAT'S OBSCENE AND DISGUSTING!!! WHO WOULD WANT INTIMATE ITEMS OF SUCH..... _VULGARITY!?!"_ Thistle's face was engulfed in light, dusty purple  
  
"Anyone with a pulse, that's who. Move!" Red grinned like a kid in a candy store at the wide array of various adult toys and accessories.  
  
"Hey, Y/n." Rus grinned, holding up one of the basic plastic vibrators decorated with green alien heads. "this seems like somethin more your speed, right?"  
  
You snickered, slapping it away.  
  
Red was very interested by the clone-a-willy set. "Hey Y/n, if I did this thing and gave it to ya, would ya use it? or maybe you'd prefer the real deal~?" he waggled his brow bones down at you  
  
"ssstaaaaaahp, ya sexy bastards!!!" you giggled  
  
When did Stretch walk in here? AND WHY IS HE HOLDING TWO BOOB SHAPED PILLOWS IN FRONT OF HIS CHEST!?!  
  
You were howling with laughter. You couldn't! You just couldn't!!!  
  
Your train of thought was abruptly interrupted when something smacked against your cheek.  
  
"dick fight!" Rave cried out, holding the offending dick plushy in his hand with a doofy grin on his face.  
  
"Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!" You grinned, arming yourself with one as well.  
  
Rave dodged like a fuckin ninja!  
  
You wound up pummeled into submission before your group left, Red failing at being discrete, bought a few things off the back wall along with all the clone-a-willy kits the store had in stock, swearing up and down he was just curious if it actually worked.

You met up with Sans, Blue and Papyrus in Game Stop

"'sup, kiddo?" Sans grin turning a tad strained when he saw what Red bought from Spencer's, but after Red made some strange signs with his hands, Sans seemed to relax a bit.

Blue had a lot of GameStop bags looped over his arms.  
  
"was wonderin if yall were down to hit up the food court." you shrugged

"sound good to me" Sans hummed lazily.

after eating and shopping at a few more stores and kiosks, everyone carried their armloads of bags to the cars. With both trunks full and a few bags by your feet, you got into Papyrus's convertible. Papyrus let Red drive this time.

Gears was driving in front of you, and dare you say it, he made driving stick look easy! he was so smooth with the gearshift, smooth acceleration and even smoother stops and turns.

Red was quit the impressive driver as well, though he had to be reminded to obey the speed limit more than once.

you kept Blue distracted with little games like tic-tack-toe, I-spy, slug-bug and a few of those patty cake games kids do on the school bus.

A traffic jam extended the ride by a few hours, and you got to witness Gears road-rage over it, honking the horn and cranking the window down to yell "It's the long one on the right!!! PUSH IT!!!", making you think of your dad.

Blue and Papyrus actually fell asleep, slouched in their seats, both snoring loudly.

Sans wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you to lean against his chest. "you looked uncomfortable" he claimed

there was something different about the look in his eyes and the tone of his voice.  
  


"thanks, Sans." you murmured.

He smelled like snow and evergreen trees

You don't remember closing your eyes, but you opened them again when you heard Red's voice

"Finally! We're movin again!...... she asleep back there?"

"yeah, but can ya blame her?"

"nah...."

you felt Sans lean down a bit, then something pressed against the top of your head for a second before he sat back up.

did he just kiss you?

......

......

......

_**Sans:** She's just so perfect! _

_**Papyrus:** SANS SEEMS TO REALLY LIKE HER!_

_**Red:** I know ya like her, Sans.... but make no mistake.... there's others with their eyes on her too... me included_

_**Blue:** SHE'S SO FUN TO BE AROUND!_

_**Stretch:** Damn if her laugh isn't the cutest sound I've ever heard!_

_**Thistle:** SHE'S SO VULGAR AND DARING! SHE'S MEETING ALL OF MY STANDARDS!!!_

_**Rus:** She's such an adorable ditz._

_**Gears:** I can't fall for her... not when I'll just have to leave her later...._

_**Rave:** Gears **soooooo** likes her! It's written all over his face! Why doesn't he just **tell her!?!**_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo!!! Long chapter!!! I dunno if AO3's doing it on anyone else's end, but for some reason under this note it says notes again and has the end chapter note from chapter one. Ignore it please!!! o3o


	6. Creepypasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get invited to join the skeles in apartment 6 for dinner!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love the play on words with the title of this one! Good luck weathering Blood and Mat's intense stares! XD

Your day was rather ho-hum today.  
  
You spent the day sitting on the couch with Gears, scrolling through your social media and texting your parents  
  
Dad: How's the city?  
  
Y/n: It's actually really cool here!  
  
Dad: Silverstreak holding up alright?  
  
Y/n: Yeah! My new roommate is a veteran stick driver, and he's teaching me how to drive better! He reminds me a lot of you.  
  
Dad: He? Honey, I hope you know having some strange man living with you isn't okay!  
  
Y/n: Relax, dad. He's technically my neighbor and both of them are skeleton monsters.  
  
Dad: did autocorrect mess some stuff up there?  
  
Y/n: basically my upstairs neighbors are both skeleton monsters, and one of them builds machines and sells the patents for a living. A huge storm hit and made the machine pull different versions of him and his brother from other universes and timelines and the machine exploded, so they can't be sent back until he can build a new one.  
  
Dad:..... wow.... that's complicated. How many skeletons are there?  
  
Y/n: Well,... let me split them into categories to make this easier. there's Sans (the one that built the machine), and Papyrus (his younger brother). The Sanses that were pulled through are Blue, Red, Blood, Thistle, Thorn, Mat, Gears (roommate 1) and Rave (roommate 2 who happens to be gay). The Papyruses are Stretch, Edge, Gore, Cash, Rus and Squall. so in total there are 16, but Sans swears up and down they're all going back as soon as the machine's fixed.  
  
Dad: You mom wants to know if they have the tolls to get you pregnant.  
  
Y/n: dad.... they're skeletons.... if you took all the flesh and bone off a man and he lived through it, would he be able to?  
  
Dad: just needed clarification  
  
Y/n: they can make hair and a body-like addition to themselves with their magic, but I've read medical articles that tested if cross breeding could happen, and no, it can't. They could do me all they wanted, but it wouldn't make you a grandpa.

Dad: Can we drive out there and meet them all?  
  
Y/n: sure! just give me a heads up when you plan to and I'll tell them to clear their calendars.  
  
  
you sent him the pictures you took the day of the machine fiasco  
  
Dad: Some of them look like sketchy characters.... and why is one named Cash?  
  
Y/n: just keep an eye on your wallet around him. He's obsessed with money. Also, don't challenge Edge. He broke Rave's arm just to prove a point, but Gears beat him up for it and now he stays in my apartment to make sure Edge doesn't try to hurt me, and Rave has healing magic, so if I get hurt I'll be okay. Gears even has the same moral code as you, so I'm sure you two will be best friends before too long.  
  
Dad: okay... be safe. we love you, honey  
  
Y/n: I will! I love you both too!

  
  
  
another text popped up

  
  
  
Mat: Yo, sunshine  
  
Y/n: what up, Matty-moo? :3  
  
Mat:

  
  
Mat: omg, please never call me that again >:V  
  
Y/n: dat face tho

Mat: Gore's cooking spaghetti for dinner and wants to know if you wanna join us >:/  
  
Y/n: sure thing!

Mat: just head over here around 6

Y/n: haha! That's your apartment number XD

Mat: just don't be late, sunshine

  
  
  
"I'll be heading to unit 6 to join them for dinner at 6" you spoke up, making Gears jolt slightly

"Hehehe, their apartment number's the same as their dinner time. That's funny. what're they havin, princess?" Gears turned to look at you

"spaghetti"

"so...."

"oh my god, don't!"

"Creepypasta?"

"I can't decide whether to throttle you for saying that or myself for walking right into it" you deadpanned, earning a hearty chuckle from Gears

you scrolled through social media for a few more hours till 6 and headed over

You knocked on the door and waited. Squall opened the door

"Y/N! IT'S SO NICE OF YOU TO JOIN US, DOVE! MIGHT I SAY YOU LOOK BREATHTAKING THIS FINE EVENING?"

"Dove?"

"IT'S MY NICKNAME FOR YOU! DO YOU LIKE IT?"

"I mean, my parents call me honey, Sans calls me kiddo, Gears calls me princess, Rave calls me chickadee, Mat calls me sunshine and Red calls me sweetheart, so I'm pretty used to the whole endearing pet-names thing at this point."

"WELL, DO COME IN!" Squall grinned, gesturing you inside

The living room was dark save for the TV being on, Mat's boney but rooted in front of it

he turned to you and flashed a lazy two finger salute and you nodded in return.

"BORTHER, WHY DON'T YOU SHOW Y/N AROUND THE APARTMENT WHILE GORE AND I ADD THE FINISHING TOUCHES ON THE FOOD?"

"sure thing, bro."

Mat stood up, stretching.

"Okay, sunshine. I don't exactly have a room per say. I sleep on the couch. over here's Blood's room."

It was fairly minimalistic. a mattress with no sheets on the floor with a pillow sitting lopsided against the wall and the blanket wadded up in a ball at the foot of the bed, socks and other clothing items littered the floor, and an old, beat up desk with a metal fold out chair in the corner, a large axe imbedded blade first into the desk and the handle appeared to be made of a femur, grooves worn into it where Blood obviously grips it, worn in over time and from heavy use. You made a mental note to ask Blood about the axe.

"this is Gore's room" Mat continued

It looked like Papyrus's room, only... the racecar bed had the foot of it sawed off and two hope-chests pushed against the end to accommodate for his sheer height 

"and this i-...... Squall, I thought I told you to hide the stuff!!!" Mat blanched, running into the room. You were quick to try to peek, catching a glimpse of Mat hastily shoving some familiar looking cylinders into the closet.

"OH! DO PUT THOSE AWAY!!! IT SLIPPED MY MIND!!! I APPOLOGIZE!!! JUST PLEASE DON'T MESS THEM UP!!! IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO MAKE THEM CORRECTLY WITH SUCH VAGUE DIRECTIONS!!!

"were those what I think they were?" You held in a snicker

"uh... depends on what ya think they are, sunshine" Mat broke out into a cold sweat, leaning on the closet door 

"are those some of the clone-a-willy kits Red bought at the mall yesterday?"

"maybe they are, and maybe they aren't. I'll never tell~" Mat winked at you

Squall's room was also similar to Papyrus's, but the racecar bed was replaced by a really comfy looking normal bed, sheets, pillow, and blanket looking immaculate, but there was also a self sustaining bone tornado in the corner much like Sans's trash tornado 

"Dinner's ready"

you jumped, whirling around to see Blood standing behind you

how was someone that big so damn silent!?!

You and Mat trailed after the silent giant. You could easily distinguish which chair was the extra from how it unbalanced the table setup.

you sat down and Gore set a heaping plate of spaghetti in front of you, both Papyrus variants in the room and Blood all fixed you with eager stares.... well... Blood's was more of a dead eyed stare, his face hard to decipher.

Mat sat next to you and took a bite, not cringing or anything, but he still gave your knee a reassuring squeeze under the table

you took a bite. It was over salted and the noodles were slightly overcooked, but other than that it tasted fine.

"It's..." you started, pausing when you felt your sins crawling on your back. You know what? no! They won't improve if you don't give constructive criticism! "It's a little over salted and the noodles are a bit overdone, but other than that, It's amazing!"

Squall and Gore were surprisingly interested in your cooking advice, chatting idly about it over dinner.

"You don't have to eat it all if it's too much. I'll just eat whatever..... you....... don't?" Blood mumbled

you cleaned your plate. 

"is there any more left? I'm still hungry." you asked

Blood, Gore and Mat, you could have swore for a second there, had hearts in their eyes as they looked at you with pure admiration

"OF COURSE THERE'S MORE! THIS UNIVERSE HAS AN ABUNDANCE OF FOOD UNLIKE OURS!" Gore grinned, moving to get you a second helping.

"What do you mean 'unlike yours'? Also, what's with the axe?" you voiced.

Mat looked at you as if you just told Jesus to fuck off right to his face

"We never made it to the surface. Frisk left us down there to die." Blood snarled, slamming his fist on the table.

"FOOD BECAME SCARCE, AND WE WERE CLOSE TO STARVING TO DEATH" Gore added, setting your second plate in front of you.

"A human showed up in Snowdin.... so to save everyone from dying, there was only one logical option."

"you killed and ate them, right? It only makes sense, and the lives of the few outweigh the lives of the many, etcetera, etcetera. I'd have done the same in that position. Survival of the fittest, man." you shrugged, starting to inhale the second heap of pasta

"I think I'm in love" Blood and Mat both drooled in unison

"what?" Mat glanced sidelong at Blood.

Blood stared back silently

the two were neck deep in the creepiest staring competition you've ever witnessed, both looking less sane by the second, the wind outside picking up more and more the longer it went on

"ERM.... HOW ABOUT YOU THREE SIT ON THE COUCH FOR A BIT AND WATCH SOME TELEVISION WHILE SQUALL AND I CLEAN UP?" Gore tensed up.

the magic and tension palpable in the air, you found yourself squashed between the two most unsettling skeletons in the whole apartment complex, Blood's huge arm propped behind your head and Mat's smaller arm around your waist as Mettaton's quiz show reruns played on the TV.

"Guys.... I can literally see the tension electricity between you two. Can you dial it down? I get it! You both like me.... a lot.... but I'd like to explore my dating options first. So cut the territorial rivalry till I leave, and just be glad I'm here in the first place." 

"that obvious?" Blood rumbled

"Yeah! You both might as well be holding up big neon signs advertising it to the world! Just dial it the fuck back and chill!" you held your hands up defensively

Mat slumped, heaving a sigh as his face drained of all animosity and the wind died down. He pulled you to lean against him, rubbing his thumb against your thigh. "Sorry for scarin ya, sunshine."

"just... give me some time to get to know everyone better. The farthest I'm willin to go right now is really close friends."

"I can live with that." Blood nodded, fidgeting with the hem of one of his shorts legs.

"on another note... Mat, why do your eyes change like they do?" you nudged his ribs.

"Oh, that? I double as a Doppler radar. My eyes reflect the current weather within a five mile radius."

"that's so cool!!!"

"my bones also reflect the clouds. Clear day? white bones. Severe weather? dark, cloudy bones. But my brother and I also have control over the weather and have to know when it needs to rain, be clear, be overcast, etcetera.... just don't ask for a temperature change, cause that's out of our hands."

"so you're like.... gods of the weather!?!" you bounced excitedly.

"somethin like that, I guess. Never really thought too deep into the philosophical side of it." he shrugged nonchalantly 

"why doesn't Squall's appearance reflect the weather like yours does?"

"too much of a power draw for him to handle for more than a few minutes. My magic reserves are insane while his are more limited. You're comparing the power of a tornado to the power of a hurricane, sunshine."

you spent the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch. the smell of metal and the inside of an old house to your right and rain and the ocean to your left with Squall and Gore sitting beside their respective brothers, chatting idly about this and that.

..........

.........

.........

_**Blood:** She can eat an entire full grown horse in one sitting, she wasn't scared in the least when she found out about my universe.... in fact, she... sided with us and rationalized our actions.... **where has she been all my life!?!**_

_**Gore:** I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT EXCELENT COOKING ADVICE SHE GAVE ME_

_**Mat:** I nearly lost my cool today. I've gotta keep that under wraps or she might get hurt_

_**Squall:** SHE'S SUCH A GOOD FRIEND! I HOPE SHE COMES OVER AGAIN SOON!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry the chapter was a bit short! I'm trying to churn out as many as I can to add enough to make it worth advertising on my Tumblr and in a few discord servers. If anyone has any chapter ideas they want to see happen, then by all means let me know! If you wanna follow me on tumblr, copy and paste this in a new tab:
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/artisticabomination23 
> 
> I'll make a server on discord based on this fanfic. It'll be a roleplay server where you get to interact with the skeletons where they aren't all enamored with the same person, but you'll have to verify you're 18+ cause things might end up a bit steamy depending on how people decide to interact. You'd also get notifications for updates to the story. keep an eye out in future end notes for the server link once it's done


	7. A Thorn In My Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorn needs to learn proper etiquette when visiting someone else's home!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's gonna be stressful with some major drama. Someone might end up hurt.

You grumbled, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

"SO, YOU'RE FINALLY AWAKE, HUMAN!"

You screamed, flailing and tumbling out of bed, landing hard on the floor in a tangled wad of blankets.

Gears burst into the room, eyelight flaring dangerously as black smoke curled from his snarling maw and nasal opening. "Thorn, why the hell are you in Y/n's bedroom!?!" he growled, crossing the room and kneeling beside you. He untangled your blanket from your limbs and offered you his hand.

You accepted his help graciously, but as soon as you put weight on your left ankle, you nearly dropped to the floor if it weren't for Gears quickly wrapping an arm around your waist. He looped his other arm under your knees and picked you up bridal style, looking down at you with that ....chiseled jawline and that rugged face a- waitwaitwaitwoooaah there girl, stop that train of thought! He's your friend/bodyguard/roommate! Don't go making things weird between the two of you! You might ruin everything letting your hormones take you for a ride like that!

"You okay, princess?" his gaze lingering on your eyes, a soft orange barely tinging his cheekbones.

"I think I rolled my ankle when I fell out of bed. I'll be okay."

"well, now to take care of the problem"

"I'M STILL HERE, YOU KNOW!!!"

" **t h a t ' s t h e p r o b l e m** " Gears's eye sockets both went blank and he gave a tight smile

"IS THAT ANY WAY TO TREAT A GUEST!?!" Thorn's eyelights sharpened, a sharp toothed, silent snarl contorting his face. another question nagging at tck of your mind like one of those overly intrusive shower thoughts

" **n o o n e i n v i t e d y o u , T h o r n . . . l e a v e** "

"BITE ME, FIRECROTCH!!!"

"Hey! Everyone calm down now!!! This is _my_ apartment, and _I_ say who stays and leaves." You butted in, making both skeletons turn towards you. "Thorn?" your voice turned sickeningly sweet. "Why did you invite yourself into my bedroom?"

"I SAW YOU SPENDING TIME WITH THE GRIMDARK FREAKSHOW MURDER QUARTET YESTERDAY. YOU SPENT TIME WITH EVERYONE WITHOUT EVEN ASKING IF I WANTED TO ATTEND THE OTHER DAY! I SEE YOU'RE INTIMIDATED BY MY SHEER TERRIBLENESS, OBVIOUSLY!" He smirked, crossing his arms and looking down his nose at you. 

"Oh really?" you deadpanned 

"YES, REALLY!!! IT'S PRACTICALLY WRITTEN ACROSS YOUR FEEBLE HUMAN FACE!!! SO I, THE TERRIBLE SA-ERM... _THORN,_ FEELING UNUSUALLY MERCIFUL TODAY, DECIDED TO PAY YOU A VISIT TODAY TO SHOW YOU JUST HOW APPROACHABLE AND GENEROUS I TRULY CAN BE!" 

You could practically _smell_ his haughty self entitled ego, but quite frankly, you couldn't bring yourself to care enough to feed said ego... until you've had your coffee, his ego could starve to death for all you cared!

"Until I've had my morning coffee, I could care less about your ego being in desperate need of a handjob, Thorn" you scowled. "You scared the crap out of me, made me hurt myself, made Gears fly into a panic, and all at...." you looked over at the clock. "three in the god forsaken morning!?!"

"CEASE YOUR VULGARITY THIS INSTANT, HUMAN!!!"

"Yo kiddo, everything okay down there?" Sans's half asleep voice grumbled through the floor above you

"Thorn decided to watch me while I sleep!" you called up in response

"YOU WERE WAKING UP ANYWAYS!!!"

"Yeah, to use the bathroom and get some water.... and go back to sleep!!!" you spat

Sans suddenly appeared beside your bed, looking around before realizing Gears was holding you, shooting him a strange look.

"She hurt herself when she fell out of bed after Thorn scared her half night to death. She can't put weight on her left foot. Rave sleeps like a rock, so there's no sense in trying to wake him up to heal her at this hour, so I'm just gonna carry her wherever she needs to go in the mean time." Gears explained.

"Yeah... kiddo, do you mind if I just couch surf with you for a few days to put my mind at ease?" Sans quirked a browbone, looking rather nonplussed at this situation.

"By all means" you grumbled

"PLEASE ALLOW ME TO MAKE A POT OF COFFEE AND BREAKFAST AS A SHOW OF GOOD WILL!"

"Fine..." Gears groused, carrying you down the stairs and setting you down on the couch as Thorn sprinted into the kitchen and began digging through the cabinets, pulling out a cast iron skillet your parents had insisted you take with you when you left and a jar of bacon grease you had Gears set aside so you could make biscuits and gravy for breakfast this morning. White gravy made with bacon grease was a staple item always present when you lived with your parents.

Gears knelt down in front of you, cradling your injured ankle with a surprisingly delicate touch, lifting your pajama pants leg of the way to examine the damage. His single eyelight glided slowly over the already bruising skin.

That bacon grease is really going. You can hear it starting to pop and splatter.

"Yup, you did a number on your ankle, princess. It's swollen, warm to the touch, and from what I can tell you'll have a nasty lookin bruise for a while. I'll have Rave heal it when he wakes up

You could hear the kitchen sink turn on full blast, this distinct sound of a large container being filled followed by a smaller one, thick black smoke seeping across the living room ceiling. The sound of grease exploding followed by a thick wall of oily smoke invading the kitchen

Gears sprinted into the kitchen, Sans tailing behind him.

you stood and limped towards the kitchen to see what's happening 

"What the fuck, Thorn!?!" Sans yelled

"HERE'S A MESSAGE FROM EDGE!!!"

You made it to the threshold just in time to see Thorn slosh a bucket of water up at Gears. The grease on the stove surrounded in tall flames that threatened to catch the ceiling on fire.

Sans was quick to grab the baking soda, dumping the whole box into the burning pan, extinguishing the flames.

Gears screamed, collapsing to the floor in a crumpled heap of bones, his eyes empty voids and his ecto body dissipating.

Thorn turned to escape out the front door, flinging it open only to find Red standing in the way. Red grabbed him by the front of his bandanna and slammed the tiny tyrant against a wall, holding him there.

"Where d'ya think _you're_ goin, short-stuff?" Red grinned down at him

"Sans! What do we do!?! Gears got doused!!!" You panicked

"I don't know! I've never had this problem before! His condition's nuance to me!" Sans dropped to a knee. "It might help to get the wet clothes off of him and get him dried off? I dunno!"

"He only has the one outfit! He doesn't have any other clothes!" you scowled in frustration

"He's around my size. He can borrow some of my clothes" Red offered, slamming Thorn to the floor and summoning a wall of bones to keep him from escaping before vanishing for a minute, reappearing with one of the tight black undershirts he started wearing since arriving in this universe and basketball shorts he usually wears, having bought several identical sets of that specific outfit when you all went to the mall.

You limped up the stairs while Red and Sans worked on stripping Gears out of his soaked jacket and military uniform. You grabbed a towel from the bathroom closet and limped back down the stairs, holding the towel out to Sans.

even without the orange ecto body, Gears was bulky, the bones normally obscured by the magical manifestation cracked, nicked, chipped, and ossified in several places, the injuries varying in age and severity, and much like his forearms, hands and neck, the rest of him was spattered with bronze spots, his ribcage and spine beneath it nearly fully coated in it.

"... brother....." Gears muttered, though it was so soft and breathy it was difficult to hear.

"He's still kickin" Red perked up, quickly slipping the shirt over Gears's skull while Sans shimmied the shorts up over the unconscious man's pelvis.

Red picked Gears up, hefting him over his shoulder. "Which one's his room?"

"the one with the giant wrench in the corner" you flashed him a half-assed smile

He carried Gears up the stairs, peeking into your room for a second before moving to the one across the hall. "Found it!"

The front door burst open, Edge storming in "IF YOU WANT SOMETHING DONE RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF" he grumbled, on a warpath towards the stairs.

okay, you've had enough with the attempts on your bodyguard's life this morning! It hurt like hell, but you stormed to the stairs, blocking Edge's path.

"OUT OF MY WAY, HUMAN!!!" he glowered down at you.

was he always this tall and scary?

no no no! Steel that resolve, girl! You've got this!

"You listen here, you crusty crossdressing menstrual stain!!!" You snarled

"Daaaaaaaaamn" came a rough new york accent a little bit behind you

since when was Red standing at the top of the stairs?

huh

Edge leaned down to as close to your eye level as he could without losing his intimidating aura

"You send your swap stodge to _my home_ at _three in the god damn morning_ to _wake me up and attempt to assassinate my roommate, and you expect me to stand idly by AND LET YOU GO FOR ROUND TWO **ALL BECAUSE HE PINNED YOU TO THE GROUND AFTER YOU BROKE RAVE'S ARM FOR NO GOD DAMN REASON AS SOME FUCKED UP POWERPLAY TO ASSERT YOURSELF AS TOP DOG!!!???!!! WELL I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU UNWASHED, SMEGMA COVERED, AIDS INFECTED HOBO'S LEFT TESTICLE!!!!!! I'M THE BADEST BITCH THIS SIDE OF THE CITY, AND I DON'T TAKE KINDLY TO GUYS TRYING TO COMPENSATE FOR THEIR MICRODICK PROBLEMS!!!!!!!! NOW GET THE FUCK OUT AND TAKE YOUR LACKEY WITH YOU BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT UP WHERE YOU ASS WOULD BE!!!!!!!!**_ " You roared at the top of your lungs

were those hearts in his eyes?

"AHEM.... I-... YOU-... NO ONE'S EVER SPOKEN TO ME THAT WAY BEFORE. SUCH PASSION AND FIRE! .... YOU'VE EARNED MY RESPECT......... I'LL LEAVE"

"And you will _never ever ever_ harm _anyone_ while you're here. I don't know how things work where you're from, but here, what happened this morning would get both you and Thorn thrown in prison for a long time and further fuel the racism problem." you spoke softly, rubbing at your now sore throat

"DUALLY NOTED.... SO.... I WAS WONDERING IF MAYBE YOU WOULD CARE TO JOIN ME ON A DATE?"

"After this stunt? It's just you and your hand tonight, fuck-face." you glowered up at him, flipping him off as you hobbled over to the couch to sit next to Sans. "Now take your crony and get out of my sight." you rubbed your temples

Edge left, taking Thorn and attempting to drag Red back too, but Red insisted on staying a while to clean up the mess.

Sans pulled you to lean against him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and grabbing your hand, rubbing small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb.

the stress of this horrible morning finally gnawing down the tough façade. Your bottom lip quivered and you broke down, sobbing into Sans's t shirt clad chest.

"oh kiddo." He crooned. "It's okay. This has been one shitty morning. Just let it all out." he rubbed your back as you balled your fists full of his shirt fabric

"hey, look at me." Sans tilted your chin up

he leaned closer, and-

After a while of scrubbing the charred wall with a magic eraser, disposing of the burnt grease, and salvaging the pan, Red sat next to you on the other side, making Sans reel back and just wipe the tears off your face.

"Hey Sans, can you go up and check to make sure Gears hasn't given up and joined his brother?" Red jerked his head towards the stairs.

Sans stood and walked up the stairs, Red watching him, waiting till he turned the corner before turning back to you.

He cupped your cheek, pulling you against his chest and pressed his teeth against your lips, the sharp tips poking your lips.

your eyes widened, too shocked to pull back as heat rose to your face.

You felt his teeth part a bit, something wet dragging across your bottom lip, leaving a pleasant trail of tingling in it's wake. Skeletons have tingling magic tongues!?! You experimentally parted your lips. Red's tongue invaded your mouth, colliding with your own tongue and forcefully pinning it down as his hungry kiss temporarily made you forget your pain and stress, the tingling of his tongue making your tension melt away and your eyes fluttered shut. He pulled away, gazing down at you with heart shaped eyelights. "Wow, sweetheart" he breathed "Don't tell Sans, and act natural." he smirked, turning to look for the TV remote.

you started rubbing your eyes, feigning wiping the last of your tears away.

Sans walked down the stairs, flopping back down in his spot on the couch.

"Gears is doing just fine, he's just a bit clammy. I think he's sick or something." Sans sighed.

"Well, sorry to cut my stay short, but I should probably head back to my place. Someone's gotta keep my bro outta trouble, right? See ya later, sweetheart" Red smirked, standing and taking his leave.

"You okay, kiddo?" Sans frowned, tilting your chin up to meet his gaze again.

"Yeah... just stressed and sore." you hummed

"You need me to get you anything?" He was slowly gravitating closer.

"Oh, stop beating around the bush and just kiss me already, you hopeless romantic!" you grumbled, grabbing his shirt and pulled him in, crashing your lips against his teeth. He wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you to sit on his lap. You wrapped your arms around his neck, but he pulled away, not willing to push the envelope like Red.

"so... does this mean you like me too?" Sans blushed

"Calm down, Romeo. It was just a casual kiss. I'm just exploring my options before diving into anything wholeheartedly." you slid off his lap and back to your spot on the couch.

You told Rave about this morning when he finally staggered down the stairs and he looked bewildered that he slept through it all and was quick to heal your ankle. You spent the day in comfortable silence, watching TV with Sans, Rave taking Red's abandoned spot.

......

......

......

 **_Thorn:_ ** _SHE MAY LOOK WEAK, ESPECIALLY WHEN SLEEPING.... BUT SHE'S TERRIFYING WHEN SHE'S MAD.... I LIKE THAT IN A POTENTIAL MATE~_

 **_Gears:_ ** _So cold.... it hurts..... I can't even keep her safe anymore! Wake up, damn it! Move!!! Something!!!.....anything?_

 **_Sans:_ ** _She kissed me!!! Score!!!_

 **_Red:_ ** _.... She totally digs me_

 **_Edge:_ ** _I SEEM TO HAVE ANGERED THE HUMAN. NO MATTER! IT ONLY MEANS I'LL HAVE TO WORK HARDER TO WOO HER!!!_

 **_Rave:_ ** _Stupid stupid stupid_ _!!!! They needed me, and I slept right through it!!! I know! I'll pull an all nighter healing Gears and he'll hopefully wake up!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooooo~ Skele-smooches~! Sans is just so vanilla, and I absolutely ADORE him for it! And let's face it... Red's drop dead smexy!!! He's the type to try for third base on the first date, the loveable bastard XD
> 
> Also, just an fyi: Those italic blurbs at the bottom of each chapter are their thoughts about you at the end of the day in case anyone hasn't surmised that already.


	8. Icy-Hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gears is running a bad chill, but cuddles seem to help. A Deal is in the workings and meanwhile you sit around in the dark telling ghost stories!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ever see a full grown man with a bad case of cabin fever? This one tells war stories when he's bored XD

The heater was on full blast despite it being uncharacteristically warm for November out. Gears was suffering from what you could only describe as a reverse fever. Rave had elected to watch over him last night and you promised to take over day watch as soon as you woke up. You trudged out of your room clad in only a pair of short-shorts and a sports bra, your skin coated in a sheen of sweat. 

You peeked into Gear's room to see Rave sitting on a stepstool you had brought from home to reach higher shelves and change lightbulbs. His hands outstretched towards Gears and trembling with weakness, surrounded in a green aura of magic. You placed a hand on his sweaty shoulder and his arms flopped into his lap limply, reaching up to swipe his magenta pseudo-hair from his face as he looked up at you over his shoulder. He looked like absolute crap, dark circles under his eye sockets, his normal heart eyelights now uncharacteristic white orbs from what you guessed was him being completely drained.

"Go get some rest, Rave. I'll take over from here." You sighed.

Rave stood, stumbling slightly before exiting the room, not even closing his door before he flopped face first on his bed, half his body hanging off the edge yet he was out like a light.

You walked into Rave's room and pushed the rest of his body into bed and closed his door, walking back into Gears's room. 

He was awake, laying there under a mountain of blankets, yet still shivering like a leaf in the wind. 

You sat on the edge of the bed only to be pulled down and wrapped in his clammy arms.

"I'm sorry" he croaked in your ear, sending chills down your spine and making your face flush bright red

"Don't be, Gears. You're a victim here and now you're sick! If anyone should be sorry it should be Edge and Thorn"

"no"

"....excuse me?" you stiffened in his grasp, flipping over to face him aaaaaaaand oh shit, he's crying.......

"I'm sorry I couldn't protect you..... if Sans weren't here you'd have been hurt... or worse.... and there was nothing I could do to keep you safe.... I'm not good enough, and when I get sent back, everyone will die because no matter what I do or how strong I get, I'll never be good enough." he grunted, trying hard to hold his tears back.

"Hey, shhhhhshshshhhh, It's okay, Gears. You can't help that they played dirty like that. What they did was a major low blow... it was below the belt and ...and-and That wasn't fair!" You huffed, cupping his face in your hands and wiping at his tears with your thumbs.

"It's not okay... I'm supposed to be living in your apartment to keep you safe from the others... but I can't even do _that_ right it seems." he lamented

"Hey... if you hadn't burst into my room, who knows what Thorn might have done to me! You saved me from whatever his personal reason for showing up in my room was. You're the best bodyguard a girl could ask for!" you smiled softly.

"Daw gosh darn it, princess, yer gonna make me blush."

"You're already blushin ya big doof."

he chuckled softly, pressing his forehead against yours. His single eyelight flickered to your lips for a split second, but he seemed to think better of it, instead shifting so your head was laying against his chest, a strange rumbling sound resonating from within.

"Are you fuckin purring!?!" you blurted 

"Wha-? .... no, that's my soul.... it's on fire, and before you ask, yes, that's normal, no no one else's soul is on fire, yes, mine sounds different from the others." Gears snorted, holding back a laugh

"It sounds so cool!" you grinned idiotically, pressing your ear closer to hear it better

"You mean it sounds so _hot_ " he chuckled, running his gloved fingers through your hair.

"you're such a himbo!" you giggled

"Hey, I'm smarter than I let on, princess." he smirked "who else here can build and maintain a pompous robot asshole's luxury-class steam train?"

"your Mettaton owns a train!?!"

"Yup, too dangerous to own a hotel. Only safe for him if he's in something he can easily escape in if the going gets tough. Plus he would use it to transport the injured and civilians to safety. I actually have an epic war story involving that train, and it explains why I hate my Mettaton with a .... _burning_ passion." he winked down at you.

You couldn't help but smile at that pun. "I wanna hear your war story!"

Gears bolted up, sitting cross-legged as he prepared to regale you with his harrowing tales.

you tossed the blankets over his legs and settled in, listening intently.

"So there I was at the front lines. The humans had entered from the ruins and pushed us out of Ashden, through Lavafall, and to the border of Hotland. The humans were relentless. They wanted all monsters dusted on sight! Mettaton was getting ready to haul out the wounded and civilians on the train when a human threw a grenade on the tracks. Now I've seen some crazy shit... but that day I witnessed a steam train fly!   
The whole damn thing burst into flames and landed on it's side and everyone got out of it as fast as they could. Now you must be thinking.... 'Gears, aren't you impervious to fire!?!' The answer is yes, but the humans developed what I can only describe as hellfire.... that new fire is capable of damaging monsters in the volcano like normal fire does to humans, but back to the matter at hand. I leapt into action, climbing up into the train cars and started searching for anyone that hadn't made it out of the wreckage. The humans pushed the front lines back into the city.   
I made it through the wreckage to the caboose and found Mettaton trying to shield a child from the flames. Big mistake on his part, cause his metal body couldn't handle the heat of the inferno. He insisted I get the kid out of there asap before helping him. I grabbed the kid and ran them to a safe spot where the medics were caring for some of our troops and ran back to the train only to find the fire blocked the entrance, so I had to bust down the side panel of the caboose. I shoulder checked the damn thing till the wall crushed like tin foil and grabbed Mettaton. My shoulder was badly burned, but I had to get us out of that mess!  
So I ran into the city and ducked into an alleyway to keep out of sight of the humans. It was a waiting game for the time being, I had to bend Mettaton's body back into shape and replace a few parts on him, but by the time I finished, some stragglers from the human side decided our hiding spot would be a good place to duck into for a smoke break. I thought that'd be our last day, and apparently he did too, cause he grabbed my skull and forced a kiss on me! I was disgusted beyond all belief! But then he revealed a secret to me...   
He'd never so much as kissed anyone before and didn't want to die without knowing what it was like, so I let it slide. I tried to keep that mechanical imbecile in hiding, but he decided to charge out and knock the two soldiers out, brandishing their guns and running towards the action despite never having fought a day in his life! The man was a maniac! I grabbed my wrench and followed. Figured he'd need some backup, y'know? The humans expected our impromptu flank attack like anyone expects the Spanish Inquisition! It was sheer chaos! We managed to get the humans on the run and took back everything but the ruins in one fell swoop... but ya'd never believe what happened next! The bucket of bolts took all the credit! Said I cowered behind him like a babybones! He got statues erected of him and I was all but ostracized for cowardice! And that's how I came to despise my universe's Mettaton..." 

"but wait... you chased the humans back... why will you die the second you're sent back then?" you voiced, confusion evident on your face

"Ah, well the next day the humans pushed forward again. They discovered our main weakness when one human's water canteen busted and splattered all over Greater Dog and nearly incapacitated him. It was a bloodbath! The humans dragged firehoses down connected to giant reservoirs and when the length of hose runs out, they screw on another length of hose to go in farther. I was about to get doused when I was suddenly brought here...   
so time's frozen with water mere inches from my face there, and when I get sent back, I'll be put right back in the exact position I was taken from and time'll start back again before I can react to it. I won't stand a chance and it's just me left. They dusted everyone else, and President Asgore's frozen mid dust... I'm the last monster in my universe... but there's no way Sans would make an exception for me to stay once the machine's fixed."

"I never knew all of that." Sans's voice cut in.

"You've been standin there since the beginnin of the war story, ain't'cha?" Gears sighed

"Couldn't help it. I love me a good story." Sans shrugged, pushing off the doorframe where he'd been leaning the whole time with Red.

"Damn... You got my respect, Gears." Red frowned

"Tell ya what, buddy. We can work something out for when the machine gets fixed. I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing your dust is on my hands."

"But what about the fact my presence here could have serious consequences?" Gears scowled to himself

"You may be a Sans, but I think you're different enough from vanilla o'er here to get away with it. Could just make up some story bout how ya managed ta hide out in some remote spot on the surface or somethin 'nless Sans can explain tha sitch to everyone and get them on board the Save Gears Bandwagon." Red shrugged "Ya feelin any better?"

"Yeah, I think I'm good now. Y/n's body heat seems to have chased the chills away." Gears didn't miss the strained smile from both Red and Sans. "It was 100% platonic cuddles, nothin crazy happened!" He blanched, relaxing when the magic in the air dissipated.

"I'll see if I can get a hold of Asgore. In the meantime, both of you need to eat. I grabbed some burgs and fries from Grillby's. Eat up." Sans tossed a couple takeout bags onto the bed, sitting on the step stool as he began texting on his cellphone.

Gears perked up, grabbing a bag and opening it to inspect the contents. His single eyelight grew three times larger than normal, the red slit in the center growing like a cat's eyes when they roll in catnip. A bit of drool seeped from the corner of his mouth. "I haven't had Grillby's since he got dusted! He was the first casualty and I was only 10 years old when it happened! You have no idea how happy you've just made me, Sans!" Gears was tearing up a bit as his hands dove into the bag. You began munching on your fries as Gears demolished his burger.

"Slow down there, buddy. Don't wanna end up choking to death after Sans just decided to try to spare ya." Red chuckled

Sans: Hey, Asgore. Sorry to bother you, but I've got some important info you might want to hear about.

Asgore: If it's about the mounting racism, I already know, and I'm working on it as fast as I can.

Sans: No, not that....

Asgore: Then what?

Sans: so you remember that machine from the old royal scientist?

Asgore: The strange one that I gave to you, yes.

Sans: I got it to work.

Asgore: That's great news! What does it do?

Sans: well, that's just it.... it reached through dimensions and pulled different universe variants of me and Papyrus into this one.

Asgore: so the multiverse theory is correct? Looks like I owe Tori 50g :(

Asgore: but you should send all of them back immediately, we don't know what adverse side effects having multiples of you and your brother might have on everything.

Sans: I'm working on it, but I have to rebuild the machine from scratch because the power surge made it explode, so they're stuck here until then.

Asgore: well then make haste! If the humans find out about this it'll only convince them we're more dangerous than they think!

Sans: well... there's one of them that got pulled here seconds away from being dusted... and in his universe he's the last monster left. He's a variant of me, but he's different enough that you'd never be able to tell. It's the ones that act and look too similar that would definitely cause a stir in the multiverse if they never went back.... but those are few and far between as far as this group's concerned. I want you and the rest of the boss monsters to meet them so you can ask them questions and make your own assessments on them.

Asgore: But they're all you and Papyrus... so don't they all behave similar to the two of you? What's the point?

Sans: just trust me on this... also, can you ask Alphys if she can synthesize a waterproof solution that can waterproof fire?

Asgore: Fine. How does Saturday afternoon at the park sound?....also....why???

Sans: sounds great... and you'll find out when you meet one of them. 

Asgore: She says she'll get right on it and have it done in time for the meeting in the park.

Sans: Thanks, Asgore. :)

"Okay, so we're all going to the park Saturday afternoon so everyone can be briefed on the situation and figure out what to do from there."

"Bu i'th thuffose a wain Thauray afernoon" Gears protested, mouth crammed full with hot sauce drenched fries to the point it muffled his words

"Alphys'll have ya covered, and I'm sure Mat and Squall can help on the way there" Sans shrugged, sending out a group text to the rest of the skeletons to let them know what's going down.

"We'll have to keep an eye on Blood with Undyne being there. Considering his Undyne fucked them over and made Gore the way he is." Red paced "I think I can hold him back if he gets out of hand."

"Gears, do you think you'll be able to be around Mettaton?" you hummed

"Yeah, besides, I know it's not the same Mettaton that fucked me over. Plus from what I've seen, this one even looks different from mine"

"And then afterwards we can have a sleepover game night kind of thing in my apartment!" You cheered, polishing off the last of your fries and starting in on your burger. "Awtho we thould ring ereyun a Grillby'th fwiday nigh fow kawaokee!!!" you mumbled through a mouthful of food.

Gears perked up, looking like a dog when someone grabs their leash for a walk

"I'm down to go anywhere with you, sweetheart" Red grinned, winking at you.... aaaaand you were red as...well... Red.... damn these sexy skeletons!!!

"I doubt several people will want to go.... most likely it'll just be you, me, Red, Gears, Stretch, Rus, Cash, Blood, Mat, and Rave." Sans voiced "Papyrus isn't too fond of that sort of scene, so I doubt anyone similar to him'll want to be want to be anywhere _near_ Grillby's"

"makes sense to me." You shrugged, finishing off your burger.

"woah...." everyone's eyes snapped to Red, whom was holding Gears's wrench.

"Bro, you use this thing as a weapon? Damn thing weighs a ton! You'd be a slow heavy hitter, right?" Red grinned

"'m faster with it than you'd think" Gears shook his head with a playful smirk. "Come out to the parking lot with me and I'll show ya." 

"Ding dang, outta hand! Let's go! Show me whatcha can do, soldier boy!" Red chuckled.

Gears hopped out of bed, Sans seemed equally intrigued. The three of you followed him outside.

Gears made sure to stand a good distance from the cars and the building, grabbing his giant wrench from Red and shooing him back a few yards.

He began twirling and tossing the damn thing like a color guard riffle!!! He spun it around his midsection before tossing it into the air and breathing literal _fire_ at it!!! The metal was glowing hot as it fell back to the ground. He took both gloves off and caught it bare handed, but the searing heat didn't even phase him!!! Holy hell this was badass!!! But what he did next was terrifying. He _broke his own finger bones!!!_ A black fluid oozed out instead of blood and marrow, but once it formed a puddle on the ground, his fingers seemed to heal themselves and with an upward flick of his wrists, the substance sprung up into solid spikes , he relaxed his wrists and the spikes became fluid once more. He wound his arms around, and the fluid climbed into the air in front of him, a smooth gesture towards himself and the substance surrounded and seeped back into his hand.

"Damn! You're a fuckin beast!" Red grinned, clapping Gears on the shoulder

"naw, hell. I bet you'd run circles around me if we tussled, Red." Gears smiled

"hey!" Mat jogged over. "There's rain in the forecast due to hit any minute now. Get your dragon tail inside, flame boy!"

"No time to get back to Y/n's apartment. Mine's closest, and my bro's been meaning to apologize anyways." Red grunted, shoving Gears towards apartment 6 just as a few drops of rain started to fall.

Red pulled Gears inside, tossing his wrench in as well and held the door open for you and Sans.

Edge and Thorn both seemed taken aback at seeing Gears in their home, but Edge's face went from surprised to guilty in an instant.

"GEARS! I WANTED TO APPOLOGIZE FOR MY BEHAVIOR... I WAS OUT OF LINE. I HAD NO IDEA YOUR TIMELINE WAS THAT BAD.... ALSO, I WATCHED YOUR DISPLAY FROM THE LIVINGROOM WINDOW.... YOUR FIGHTING PROWESS IS QUITE IMPRESSIVE... WE SHOULD SPAR TOGETHER SOMETIME" Edge mumbled

"I'm always down for a good tussle." Gears shot him a reassuring smile just as the rain picked up outside.

"Well, looks like you three're stuck in here with us fer a while. What should we do to pass the time?" Rus grumbled.

"Why not some scary stories? I'd love to hear what sort of spooky tales you guys would tell around a campfire back in your worlds!" You replied, jittering with excitement

"Oh, I've got a good one." Red's grin bordered on creepy. "Thorn, cut the lights and bring the flashlight."

Thorn grabbed the flashlight and turned off all the lights in the apartment as everyone gathered around the living room floor and sat in a circle.

You smirked deviously and shot a text real quick before settling in to hear Red's scary story.

Red held the flashlight so it cast spooky shadows over his face. 

"There was a rash of break-ins in the area, so this guy goes and adopts a dog. He trains the dog to sleep by his bed and lick his hand if everything's okay. One night, he hears a noise outside. He's too tired to get up out of bed to check it out, so he reaches his hand out, and feels his hand get licked, so he knows the dog says everything's okay and there's no intruder. He hears a noise somewhere in his house, reaches his hand out and feels a lick on his hand. He falls asleep. He halfway wakes up when he hears a dripping sound from the bathroom and a horrible smell. He reaches his hand out and feels a lick and goes back to sleep. His alarm goes off in the morning and he wakes up.... no sign of the dog anywhere. He goes to eat breakfast and finds his house trashed. He looks everywhere for the dog with no luck. that horrible smell from last night is even worse and coming from the bathroom. He opens the bathroom door and finds his dog gutted and hanging from the showerhead and the shower wall, written in blood it says 'dogs aren't the only things that can lick your hand.'"

You felt a lick on your hand and screamed bloody murder, turning to find Rus holding your slobber coated hand and cackling like a maniac.

"OKAY, MY TURN!" Edge snatched the flashlight away from his brother

"A YOUNG COUPLE DECIDED TO SNEAK OUT INTO THE WOODS PAST CURFEW TO CANOODLE-"

" _canoodle!?!"_ you snorted, holding in a giggle "Who says that anymore!?!"

"I DO!!! NOW DON'T INTERRUPT!!!... AHEM! AS I WAS SAYING.... THEY FOUND A SPOT FAR ENOUGH INTO THE TREES AND PROCEEDED TO MAKE OUT WHEN THEY HEARD RUSTLING IN THE UNDERBRUSH. THE GIRL ASKED WHAT THAT NOISE WAS, BUT HER MATE ASSURED HER IT WAS ONLY THE WIND. THEY BEGAN TO CARESS EACHOTHER, THINGS GETTING HOT AND HEAVY WHEN A TWIG SNAPPED. THE GIRL ASKED WHAT IT WAS, BUT HER MATE REPLIED IT WAS JUST AN ANIMAL. THEY WENT BACK TO THEIR ACTIONS WHEN A LOUD GROWL ECHOED NEAR BY. THE GIRL ONCE AGAIN ASKED WHAT IT WAS, AND HER MATE REASONED IT WAS JUST HIS STOMACH RUMBLING. SHE SAW TWO GLOWING DOTS IN THE BUSH NEARBY AND HER MATE CLAIMED THEY WERE PROBABLY THE HEADLIGHTS OF A CAR. HER MATE WENT STILL AND SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS WRONG. HE FELL OVER DEAD..... RUS, IT'S YOUR TURN!!!"

"But what happened to the girl?" you pouted

"SHE DIED! RUS, TAKE THE DAMN FLASHLIGHT!!!"

"but _hoooooowwwww????"_ you whined

"BIGFOOT!!! ISN'T IT OBVIOUS!?!"

"Okay, okay, sit down and zip it. I got one in mind...." Rus grumbled

"There was a family that lived a generally happy life. The father had a good paying job and the mother took care of the young daughter. One night, the little girl woke up to the sound of her father screaming. She got out of bed and made her way down the stairs. Her mother's voice called sweetly to her, asking her to come into the kitchen. The little girl walked the rest of the way down the stairs when a pair of hands shot out from the door under the stairs, pulling her into the room and closing the door. The light turned on to reveal her mother, beaten and cut up, but her mother's voice still called from the kitchen. 'you heard it too?' her mother in the closet asked in a soft whisper..... the end"

"That's just creepy!" you shuddered. Rus pulled you against him "that was babybones stuff." he snickered. Thorn seemed shaken up by it though.

"I got one for y'all" Gears drawled. Rus handed him the flashlight.

"A platoon was lost in the woods trying to ambush a troop of enemy soldiers. They found the enemy encampment torn asunder, only one person left and badly injured. It was the general of the opposing army. They asked him what happened , but the only coherent thing he said was 'it came from the trees'. They asked him if they found the others if they'd call a truce, and he agreed. They treated his wounds and left him some of their rations and continued forward. There were signs of a struggle and they followed the trail to another injured enemy soldier, who told them 'it was watching'. They treated his wounds and took him back to the camp. They continued in another direction, finding yet another soldier scared to the point of insanity. He said 'it's all around us'. They found all the missing soldiers and the general gave them some advice. he said 'get out of here as soon as possible' and signed the treaty. The sun was setting, so the men set up camp for the night and had two people stand watch. The time came for the watch to switch over, but only one of the two men were there. When asked where the other went, the watch stander said he had gone out in the trees to take a leak a few minutes ago. The soldier didn't return, so one of the watch-standers went to go check on him. The watch switched again, but neither of the two returned. so both watch standers went out to find them. The watch switched one more time before morning, but now half of the platoon was missing in action. The two watch standers went to wake up the other two and they all four packed up camp and went out to look for their comrades. one by one three of the remaining four disappeared as well. The leader wandered trying to find them when he smelled something ungodly. He followed the stench until he found all of his men dead, tangled in the branches of a large tree. A voice came from the tree and said 'thank you for the meal'. The last soldier ran as fast as he could out of the forest. If you walk to close to the treeline some say you can hear the haunting screams of those soldiers and an otherworldly voice demanding... ' _ **feeeeeeeed meeeeeeeee**_ '"

"okay, note to self: never go into the woods again!" you blanched

"MY TURN!!!" Thorn groused, marching over and snatching the flashlight from Gears.

"A DEVILISHLY HANDSOME MAN WAS ON A FLIGHT FOR VACATION. IT WAS 2 IN THE AFTERNOON WHEN THE PLANE REACHED CRUISING ALTITUDE. HE ASKED THE FLIGHT ATTENDANT FOR A BOTTLE OF WATER AND DRANK IT AS HE STARED OUT THE WINDOW AT THE WORLD BELOW. AFTER A WHILE HE GLANCED DOWN AT HIS PHONE TO CHECK HOW MUCH LONGER IT WOULD TAKE BEFORE THEY LAND. HIS PHONE READ 2 IN THE AFTERNOON. HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF 'WELL THAT CAN'T BE RIGHT! MAYBE MY PHONE IS MESSED UP?' SO HE ASKED THE PERSON NEXT TO HIM FOR THE TIME, AND HE SAID IT WAS 2 IN THE AFTERNOON. HE WAS CONFUSED, BUT DECIDED MAYBE HE WAS JUST BEING IMPATIENT AND DECIDED TO TAKE A NAP. SURELY THEY'D LAND BY THE TIME HE WOKE UP. HE WOKE UP AFTER GETTING A GOOD BIT OF SLEEP AND CHECKED THE TIME ON HIS PHONE AGAIN, WHICH STILL READ 2 IN THE AFTERNOON, THE SAME DATE AND EVERYTHING. THERE WAS NO WAY THIS WAS RIGHT!. THE CABIN WENT DARK AND THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS SEEMED TO HAVE MORE SINISTER INTENT BEHIND THEIR EMPTY SMILES. 'EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, BUT COULD YOU TELL ME WHAT TIME IT IS?' HE ASKED THE NEAREST FLIGHT ATTENDANT. 'YES, IT'S 2 IN THE AFTERNOON. THE FLIGHT SHOULD BE LANDING IN A FEW HOURS.' SHE RESPONDED COLDLY. HE GOT UP TO USE THE LAVETORY. ONCE INSIDE, HE TRIED TO TAKE STOCK OF HIS SITUATION. HOW LONG WOULD THIS GO ON? WAS THIS SOME SORT OF JOKE? HE WENT TO GO BACK TO HIS SEAT, BUT A WOMAN IN FIRST CLASS STOOD AND BECKONED HIM OVER AS IF SHE KNEW HIM. HE SAT BESIDE HER AND SHE LOOKED AROUND TO MAKE SURE NO ONE WAS LISTENING IN. 'SO, YOU'VE FINALLY NOTICED IT TOO?' SHE WHISPERED. 'WHAT'S GOING ON? WHY ISN'T TIME MOVING?' HE ASKED. 'I'VE BEEN STUCK ON THIS SAME FLIGHT FOR MONTHS NOW.' SHE RESPONDED BEFORE A FLIGHT ATTENDANT DEMANDED HE RETURN TO HIS SEAT. A CREATURE WITH NO FACE APPEARED, BUT NO ONE ELSE SEEMED TO SEE IT. IT GRABBED THE WOMAN AND DRAGGED HER INTO THE COCKPIT WITH HER KICKING AND SCREAMING THE WHOLE WAY. hE TRIED TO JUMP OUT OF THE PLANE ONLY TO END UP BACK IN HIS SEAT AGAIN AFTER JUMPING OUT. AFTER A WEEK, THE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS CAME TO HIM AND TOLD HIM HE'D BEEN SELECTED TO TALK TO THE CAPTAIN. THE FACELESS BEING RUSHED AT HIM AND EVERYTHING WENT BLACK. HE AWOKE WITH A START IN HIS SEAT AND CHECKED THE TIME. IT WAS 3:45 IN THE AFTERNOON."

"That was.... hard to follow, Thorn." Red sighed exasperatedly, trying to wrap his head around the story.

"Sans's turn!" you chirpped.

"It's called the ugly barnacle." Sans started, making you snort back an explosion of laughter

"Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was _so_ ugly that everyone died.... the end" Sans grinned lazily

You couldn't! You laughed so hard you were snorting!

"IT'S Y/N'S TURN, VANILLA!!!" Edge scowled

you grabbed the flashlight, holding it under your chin.

"once upon a time, there was a group of people sitting in an apartment." you started

"B-BUT _WE'RE_ A GROUP OF PEOPLE SITTING IN AN APARTMENT!" Thorn lamented

"Exactly the point of the story. It was dark, and they thought they were safe in their humble home, but little did they know there was a killer on the loose." you continued.

"What's this jerk look like? I'll wring his scrawny neck till his head pops like a grape" Red snorted.

"I second that motion" Gears nodded

"Oh, but no one's seen him and lived to tell the tale." you grinned darkly "The group was sitting around telling scary stories to weather out a rain storm, and all seemed normal. A cabinet in the kitchen slammed-" the cabinet slammed, and everyone jolted and whipped around to look at the cabinet, only to find nothing there "Causing the group to jump."

"Kiddo, are you a mage or something? That wasn't funny" Sans scowled

"If I'm a mage, then the sky's green and the grass is blue." you giggled

"A red eye glowed from across the dark room" you kept telling your story and right on cue, a red light appeared in the darkest corner of the room.

Thorn and Edge shrieked, Edge throwing a plastic vase across the room at it only for it to disappear before the vase could hit it.

Rus's grip on you noticeably tightened, and Sans looked like he'd jump out of his non existent skin.

"The killer was in the apartment with them." you grinned

Red and Gears both seemed to be on edge, but enraptured by your words, waiting eagerly for the next part of the story, both grinning like adrenaline junkies.

"he could be anywhere.... in the bedrooms.... the kitchen... the bathroom...." your grin bordered on manic.

" **o r r i g h t b e h i n d y o u** " a deep voice rumbled behind Gears and Red, making them both scream louder than any Papyrus.

Gears's hand lit up with fire, but he relaxed when he saw it was Blood.

"Heh, ya got us good, Blood!" Red chortled 

"Yeah, ya nearly scared us to _death_ " Gears snorted

You were dying! That was too funny!!! They got so scared they clung to each other for dear life!!! You got up and turned the lights on.

"THAT WASN'T FUNNY!!!" Thorn screeched 

"it was _so_ funny" Blood chuckled.

The rain stopped. 

"Well, I dunno bout the rest of you, but I'm _bone_ tired" Sans grinned

You, Sans and Gears headed back to your apartment, waving to Blood as he ascended the stairs back up to his apartment

......

.....

......

_**Gears:** I hope all goes well... I don't want to go back... I want to stay here.... I don't want to leave her!_

_**Sans:** The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma....._

_**Rave:** Glad Gears is okay... so tired...._

_**Red:** I'd hate to have to cause a scene if Gears can't stay here. He deserves a second chance at life..._

_**Edge:** I THINK I'M IN LOVE!!! _

_**Thorn:** SHE'S SO.... EVIL!!! I MUST MAKE HER MY MATE!!! _

_**Rus:** I can't believe she's that crafty. I shoulda thought of havin someone work in the shadows for my story like that_

_**Blood:**..... she's just so fuckin perfect!!!_

_**Mat:** don't those idiots pay attention!?! There were rain clouds hanging right over them, and yet it didn't occur to them to get Gears inside!?! what would they do without me!?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it took so long to get this chapter out!!! My fiance doesn't like it when I spend more than an hour a day at my desk a day. I'll try to get next chapter done as soon as I possibly can!!! Q^Q;
> 
> on the bright side.... I've made that discord I was talking about!!! It's still a prototype, so it'll get better and have more channels after a while once people start joining and suggesting channels and whatnot 
> 
> https://discord.gg/dB2wgtSugm


	9. Roses Are Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red takes you out on a date you'll never forget, but not for the reasons you think

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm TRYING, okay? my waifu's making this difficult for me to keep doing!!!

You had spent the day relaxing with Gears and Rave and were about to head to bed, fresh out the shower, hair dried and put up out of your face, clad in only a towel as you searched for a pair of pajamas.

You hear something clack against your bedroom window.

"Probably just a bug"

**_clack_ **

"a really big, persistent bug"

**_CLACLACLATTER_ **

You wrenched your window open and looked out, a pair of red pinpricks catching your eye in the bush next to your window, but angled so he couldn't see inside.

"Red?"

"Shhhhhhshshsh, I don't want vanilla and soldier boy to know I'm here. It'd spoil the fun of this." he whispered

you rolled your eyes. "fun of what?" you whispered 

"Wanna go out with me tonight? As a date?" he cringed, waiting for you to just yell for Gears and Sans

"Sure, sounds like fun." you replied in a hushed tone

"Wear whatever ya want, ain't gonna be nothin too fancy."

"gimme 15 minutes and I'll be out" you responded

"climb out yer window, but make sure ya leave a note in case they come to check on ya so they don't think ya've been kidnapped er somethin stupid."

You closed your curtain and changed into a plane black long sleeve shirt and a pair of jeans, slipping on your sneakers, and letting your hair down. You grabbed your phone and wallet and put them in your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. You left a note on your pillow.

"Gone out for a night on the town with Red, Don't wait up. Text me if you need anything"

"sounds legit.... but didja really have ta say who you're goin with?"

"Yeah, otherwise Sans'll have a conniption" you snickered, climbing out your window and mostly shutting it behind you, but leaving it open enough that you could open it from outside to sneak back in.

"Got yer car keys?" Red smirked

"Before I answer that, have you ever drove stick shift before, or do you need me to show you, or better yet drive the car myself?"

"how hard could it be?" Red mused

"the car rolls back a few feet if you stop up a hill." you deadpanned

"okay, fuck that, that'd terrify me" Red chuckled nervously.

"Tell ya what... maybe I can teach you and everyone else how to drive a stick shift tomorrow morning just in case there's an emergency and y'all need to use my car"

"Sounds good ta me, sweetheart. Gimme a rundown on how it all works."

"First ya gotta get a feel for the car. listen to it and you'll know when you need to shift. also, instead of two pedals, there's three, and you have to push the breaks and the shift pedal at the same time.... It's complicated.... maybe just watch how I drive tonight and take mental notes?" you pursed your lips, noting how he glanced down at them when you did so with mild interest.

"Sounds like a good idea. I'll tell ya where ta turn n shit." Red mumbled, his gruff voice taking on a more soft tone.

"Alright, let's burn rubber!" you grinned, jangling your keys and jogging to your car, sliding across the hood to the driver side."

"Careful, Bo Duke. Ya could bust yer head doin that shit. Yer car ain't the General Lee" Red chuckled as he sat in the passenger seat.

"I didn't know you knew what the Dukes of Hazard even is!" you giggled, getting in, buckling in and turning the keys. "Bad asses still need to wear a seatbelt. Buckle up, buttercup!"

" _buttercup?_ " he snickered.

"Click it or ticket, bruh! I ain't movin Silverstreak an _inch_ till you buckle up." you chided

" _fiiiiine_ " he rolled his eyelights playfully, clipping his seatbelt. "Take a right outta the lot, left to the highway, then down the interstate to the next exit."

You pulled out to the right, following his directions. you parked where he told you to. "A rollerskating rink?" you blanched

"Got a problem wit that, sweetheart?" he smirked

"I uh..... I dunno....."

"You dunno how to rollerskate?"

you nodded meekly, flushing with embarrassment

"But you work at Sonic Drive In. Isn't skating part of the job? Relax, just hold my hand and you'll be fine." he grinned

"But I'll bust my ass! The location I worked at didn't have skating as a mandatory thing!" you protested, but it was too late, Red got out, unbuckled you and tossed you over his shoulder and was carrying you towards the building after hitting the lock on your car.

"JUST CAUSE I CAN'T SKATE DON'T MEAN I CAN'T WALK, RED!!!" You screeched, your face searing with mortification

"Geeze, scream any louder and you'll sound like a chick version of Paps" Red teased as he set you back on your feet and looped his arm around your waist as you entered the rink. The main lights were off, but party lights danced across the floor and the bass of the music reverberated in your chest

Red paid for the tickets to get in and for the skates, getting himself a set of in-line skates while your clumsy ass opted for box skates.

"If it makes ya feel any better, I only know how to ice skate, but how different can it really be?" Red grinned wide, brimming with confidence as he carefully guided you off the tacky carpet and onto the slick floor of the rink.

Thankfully there weren't that many people there, and they all seemed to know how to skate well enough to avoid you and your shaking doe legged form as you clung to the ledge of the wall for dear life.

"Relax, sweetheart!" Red called over the music. "Lemme take a practice lap ta knock off the rust an I'll be right back!"

and with that, it was just you and the wall as you watched Red. it took him all but a split second to gain his balance and start speeding off around the rink at daredevil speeds, weaving expertly around the few people out on the rink.

wait.... he's not slowing down... nonononono- "AAAAAA!!!!" you screamed as his arm looped around your waist, holding you up as you were dragged from the safety of the wall

"straighten your feet, bend your knees a bit, and relax!"

"That's easy for _you_ to say, Red!!!"

"move your feet like you're walkin! Don't look at your feet! Look ahead!"

"But how will I know if I'm gonna fall!" you protested

"I gotcha! Ya think I'd letcha bust yer ass unless I'm bustin mine too? Relax, sweetheart!"

"o-okay" you warbled, you relaxed your legs and started trying to match his gliding strides, though you maintained your white knuckled death grip on his jacket, earing a low chuckle in response

the song changed and the beginning of the new one made you perk up. "OH! I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!" you squealed, startling Red enough to make him almost falter.... almost.

So we back in the club  
with our bodies rockin' from  
side to side, side-side to side  
Thank God the week is done  
I feel like a zombie  
gone back to life, back-back to life

you looked up at Red and picked up the lyrics.

"Hands up! Yeah suddenly  
we all got out hands up!  
No control of my body  
Ain't I seen you before?  
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes  
Eyes, eyes, eyes

'Cause baby tonight,  
D-J got us fallin' in love again  
Yeah, baby tonight,  
D-J got us fallin' in love again  
So dance, dance,  
Like it's the last,  
Last night of your life, life  
Gon' get you right

  
'Cause baby tonight,  
D-J got us fallin' in love again

Keep downing drinks like there's  
No tomorrow there's just right  
Now, now, now, now, now, now

Gonna set the roof on fire  
Gonna burn this mother fucker  
Down, down, down, down, down, down

Hands up, when the music drops  
We both put our hands up  
Put your hands on my body  
Swear I seen you before  
I think I remember those eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes  
Eyes, eyes, eyes

'Cause baby tonight,  
D-J got us fallin' in love again  
Yeah, baby tonight,  
D-J got us fallin' in love again  
So dance, dance,  
Like it's the last,  
Last night of your life, life  
Gonna get you right  
Cause baby tonight,  
D-J got us fallin' in love again"

Red held his finger up, flashing a sexy smirk down at you before he surprised you by picking up the next set of lyrics.

"Hear no evil, or speak no evil, or see no evil  
Get it baby? Hope you catch that like T-O  
That's how we roll, my life is a movie, and you just TIVO  
Mami got me twisted' like a dreadlock  
She don't wrestle but I got her in a headlock  
Yabadabadoo make her bedrock mami on fire, psh **_red hots_**  
Bada bing bada boom Mr. Worldwide as I step in the room  
I'm a hustler baby, but that you knew, and tonight it's just me and you"

you both belted the last of the song, giggling like old friends.

You don't remember him pulling you to the center of the ring, or how he wound up in front of you, nor how your body ended up pressed against his, faces mere inches away. his breath fanned across your lips, causing them to tingle with anticipation.

the moment was ruined when the DJ thought to put the spotlight on the two of you and start heckling over the mic at the cute mixed race couple.

Turns out there were a few racists in the building tonight, cause a half full soda came sailing towards the two of you from the tables outside the rink

Red's hand snapped up with frightening speed, catching the cup and chucking it right back.

"Hey! Not cool, dude! Waste of a good soda right there! Intolerance ain't worth the $5 wasted if you ask me!" The DJ heckled, pointing the spotlight at the soda soaked older man, who decided it was time to head out, face red with anger and embarrassment as he returned his skates and hauled ass out the doors into the night.

"Hope that didn't put a damper on tonight, sweetheart." Red grumbled

"not at all!" You giggled

"well then, care to-... is that yer car alarm?" Red blanched

"Whoever's the owner of the silver ford focus, it has been vandalized and the police have been notified by yours truly."

You tore your skates off and ran out without getting your shoes back. Red followed behind with his shoes untied and yours in hand.

your stomach clenched at the sight.....

Your windshield was shattered, the driver side front bumper caved in, pinning the door shut. The breaks failed, leaving the car to roll down to the end of the nearly empty parking lot. 

A police car pulled up, and a familiar figure leapt out of it, sprinting towards the car and rolling it back before reaching into the rolled down window to pull the hand break.

"Another hate crime" she huffed..... 

"Undyne!?!" you gawked, causing the uniform clad fish woman to jolt up.

"This you're car, Y/n? and..... Sans? Since when did you start working out?" Undyne gawked.

"Undyne, I'm sure Sans briefed you on the machine situation..... also, yeah.... that's...... that's my car....." you croaked

"So this is one of the Sanses from another universe? Badass! and uh... sorry bout your car.... Any idea who did it? They keyed 'demon fucker' into the driver side and there's soda residue all over it. You shacking up with the skele-dorks, Y/n?" Undyne shrugged

"I know who did it." Red groused "Y/n and I were just havin some fun skatin n shit when the DJ called us a couple and an old man tossed a soda at us, so I caught it and chucked it back at him. They call me Red."

"I-I-I'm not- I don't- we're not-....UGH!!!!" you flushed at Undyne's last comment, but handed her your license, registration, and proof of insurance as per protocol before she even asked for it

"Well, looks like your car's totaled." Undyne scowled, glaring at the white paint transfers left behind on your bumper and the leakage trail of the offending vehicle.

"Just have it towed to Sans and Papy's apartment in parking spot 2." you sighed, getting out your phone and texting Sans

Y/n: Hey Sans?

Sans: you could just come talk to me. I'm right down stairs.

Y/n: That's the thing, see.... I sorta.... kinda.... ummm....

Sans: where are you!?! D:<

Y/n: Red wanted to know if I wanted to go somewhere with him, and I snuck out my window.... I'm at the skating rink on the other side of town with him and someone destroyed my car, and Undyne's here to investigate it cause it was a hate crime, and we're kinda strandedplzdontkillme.

Sans: I'm on my way.... just next time, at least tell me where you're going in case something like this happens again, kido >:(

Y/n: I left a note on my bed! <:(

Sans:..... still..... I worry about you.... I'll be there in a bit. You and Red just hang tight

another notification

Dad: how's it going?

Y/n: Some racist guy destroyed Silverstreak when he saw me hanging around with Red just now.

Dad: are you okay?

Y/n: yeah, I'm okay... but Silverstreak isn't

Dad: well, Your mom and I are heading up to visit you on your birthday Saturday. How bad is it? I might be able to get him running again.

Y/n: the front's smashed, windshield shattered, and profanity keyed in the side and the impact knocked him into perma-neutral

Dad: I'll see what I can do. Did they catch him yet?

Y/n: dunno

Dad: We'll be staying there for a week and we talked to your landlord about staying in a vacant apartment while we're there. He's fixing up unit 5 for us

Y/n: cool beans. see ya then

"Sans is on his way" You frowned

"How pissed is he?" Red grunted

"Dunno, hard to tell via text" you sighed

Undyne had gone inside to talk to the employees to watch the tapes and find the license plate number to track the man down.

Red turned to you as you leaned against the banged up hood of your car. "sorry bout yer car.... I know you cared about it a lot"

Undyne walked out of the building again, muttering into her walkie talkie. she jogged the rest of the way to you as the tow truck pulled in. "I got the make, model, and plate and one of the other officers already found him. You've got a court date scheduled for Sunday at 3pm sharp and I managed to get you a human judge that isn't racist towards monsters. Red, you have to go with as a witness. I'll be there with all the evidence. I just need to snap a few photos of the damage. We'll make sure the damages are paid for the car and for the emotional trauma if you can both pretend to be traumatized by this. I'm sure that a dry cleaning bill won't outweigh a destroyed motor vehicle, so you should be fine.... just... think of dead puppies or something about a half hour before you show up at the courthouse and really lay it on heavy with how much you depended on that car to really get the jury on your side" Undyne winked, pulling out a camera and taking photos of the damage before the tow truck hauled Silverstreak away

Undyne handed you the slip for your court date and the damage assessment before leaving you and Red alone in the parking lot 

Sans pulled up a short while later driving Papyrus's car.

"You two okay? How bad's the damage?" Sans frowned

"well, you passed the tow truck on the way here..." Red replied

" _that_ was _Y/n's car!?!_ Oh kiddo, I'm so sorry. Paps said if ya need to go anywhere, you're welcome to borrow his car until yours gets sorted out." 

"The cops found the guy that did it. We've gotta be in court Sunday at 3 to get the guy ta pay up." 

"c-can we just... talk about something else? I don't wanna think about poor Silverstreak right now. I'm cold, I'm hungry, and I just wanna forget this even happened." you sighed

"I told Gears. He said he'd personally fix your car." Sans offered

"My dad offered too. He and mom are coming up for a week this Saturday for my birthday and they'll be renting unit five for their stay."

"oh...." Red and Sans groaned in unison

"Relax! My dad's pretty cool, just watch out around my mom... she's a bit.... controlling" you cringed

"Well... you said you're hungry, right?" Sans changed the subject. "wanna go get some fast food real quick on our way back home?"

"Yes please" you pouted as you all piled into the cherry red convertible

"you know Papyrus named his car Bob?" you giggled as Sans maneuvered out and onto the road again, you and Red in the back seat

"pffft, no way" Red snickered

"High ho Bob, away!" Sans grinned as he got up to the speed limit, making you and Red laugh like a couple hyenas.

........

........

........

_**Sans:** Glad to know she's getting along with all of me... hope I get a turn to take her out somewhere alone soon_

_**Red:** That asshole's gonna pay for wrecking her car and ruining that moment! I was so close to getting another kiss too!!!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... your car's destroyed.... and your parents are coming in two days.... this ought to be fun


	10. It's 5 O' Clock Somewhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you and the skeletons go to Grillby's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... REEEEEAAAALLLLYYY LONG CHAPTER, bit lots of fun stuff packed into it!!!
> 
> Plastered Rave is best Rave XD
> 
> Alphys and Undyne are there too!!! I hope you like vocaloid karaoke!!!
> 
> Turns out the skeletons know other languages!!!
> 
> Also, my sona's gonna be there and you'll get to know their weird-ass over some drinks. Needless to say they're kind of an eccentric person to say the least, but they'll be a powerful ally in future chapters.
> 
> Also, changed my mind on Rave. I ship him with someone now cause they're just such a perfect duo!!!
> 
> For the singing, the underlined verses are you, the bold is the person singing with you, and the italics are for any third singer that's joining you. any combination of font types shows the combination of who's singing something at the same time. doing that to make typing this out less repetitive and boring. I'll have the links to the songs copy pasted in the end notes if anyone wants to listen to them while reading.

Friday night! Hell yeah!!! You'd been waiting for tonight all week, and you needed to let loose after last night's shit show.

You also managed to somehow convince _all_ of the skeletons to tag along, the forecast was warm and clear.... It was a miracle!!!

You felt like dressing comfy for the warmth of Grillby's, dawning a white spaghetti strap shirt and a pair of light denim shorts and your sneakers and tying your hair back in a ponytail.

Your phone went off with an emergency alert, you could hear the others' phones going off in turn with the same warning. You looked at the emergency alert and your face screwed up in confusion as you read it aloud.

"Danger!!!: A government experiment escaped heading towards New Capital. The creature is highly dangerous. If you see any suspicious persons, do not engage and call the local authorities at once with it's current location." you mumbled "Hah! probably some prank by hackers or something" you reasoned, grabbing your bag and heading down the stairs.

"Hey kiddo, did you see that weird emergency alert?" Sans frowned, still reading over it on his phone

"Probably just some hackers trying to scare everyone for shits and giggles. The government doesn't experiment on living things, so it has to be just a prank." you hummed. "Let's get walkin, boys!" you cheered, heading towards the door.

Your group definitely drew a lot of attention from humans and monsters alike.

A blur of blue and red sped past you and Papyrus screamed.

You turned around in time to see Undyne with Papyrus in a headlock, noogying his skull so fast you could have swore your saw smoke coming off her fist.

Blood had his fingers hooked in his dark eye socket, tugging and scraping in what you assumed was some really painful... grounding technique?

"U-Undyne.... I-I Think m-maybe that's enough..... p-p-people are s-staring" a meek sounding voice cut in from behind your group

"hey, Alphys." Sans smiled

"h-hey, Sans.... s-so these are th-the different universe variants of you and P-Papyrus and the human neighbor that kn-knows about it?" Alphys seemed to be appraising you behind her glasses, she was wearing a polkadot dress while Undyne was wearing a black tank top, dark skinny jeans, and a pair of combat boots.

"Yup. That's my neighbor Y/n, the edgy looking me is Red, his brother's Edge, the big guy's Blood and his bro's Gore, Stretch, Blue, Thorn, Rus, Thistle, Cash, Mat, Squall, Rave, and Gears" Sans introduced, gesturing to each person as he said their names

"Where are Gears and Rave's brothers?" Undyne paused, seeming on guard

"Dead.... they don't like to talk about it. Gears is the last monster in his universe and he got pulled here seconds from getting dusted, so we're hoping to convince everyone at tomorrow's meeting to let him stay instead of sending him back to die" Red spoke up, lighting up a cigarette he bummed from Stretch.

"we'll see... you wimps heading to Grillby's too?" Undyne grinned, changing the subject

"You know it, Dyne" Sans replied

"I think Mettaton's already there. He's looking for fresh talent and heard about the new Friday karaoke there and insisted on tagging along" Undyne rolled her eye walking along side your group with Alphys speed walking to keep up.

"Is he as fabulous as he is on TV!?!" Rave blurted, obviously having dressed to gain the superstar robot's attention, wearing an off shoulder crop top with monochrome star print and a gay pride flag peace sign in the middle, red skinny jeans with ripped holes down the front of the legs, and his white go-go boots with neon green arm sleeves and a form fitting blue cropped tank top under the crop top shirt

"INDEED HE IS!!!" Papyrus gushed

all the non-swaps were fangirling over seeing Mettaton tonight in person

"Mettaton is my _IDOL_!!! I stan him _sooooooo_ hard!!!" Rave practically screamed, fanning his face with both hands as your group entered Grillby's

Everyone was quiet, but not because the sudden influx of skeletons or even Mettaton sprawled dramatically across the bar top... a woman with dark purple hair, matching eyes with black scleras and sharp fangs with black wings and bone colored horns poking up from her bangs was holding a human man up in the air by his collar, shaking him like a ragdoll

" **You think you can walk into a monster owned establishment and start harassing everyone inside, especially Mettaton and Grillby!?! You got another thing comin, punk!!!** " she spat, slamming him to the floor and pinning him under a black combat boot clad foot, her black skinny jeans stretching tight as her leg muscles kicked into action to keep the man from getting up. " **I oughta curb stomp your teeth out** **and feed em to ya!!!** " she growled, her wings spread slightly making her small frame appear larger compared to the much larger man she was manhandling with the ease of a bear wrestling a ragdoll. Her voice was more on the masculine side, teetering between a mature woman and a mid range man, though if you had to guess with how high her voice pitched at the end of the question she initially asked the offending human and how dark and low she croaked the last statement, you guessed she could comfortably reach everything between mezzo soprano and high baritone.

"I think I like this chick already!" Red chuckled

Gears strode up and placed a hand on the woman's shoulder, her glare turning to lock onto him.

"I think he's learned his lesson, ma'am" Gears rumbled

"Don't call me ma'am" She spoke in a normal tone. "I'm bigender, so they/them pronouns, please" she released her foot from the man's chest, allowing him to scramble away

"Oh, Darling~! That was spectacular how you stood up for the patrons of this establishment with such gusto~!" Mettaton slid over smoothly. "How can I ever repay you~?"

the woman thought for a moment. "Thirsty" she shrugged "n'don't call me darling... My name's Anomaly... or at least that's what everyone calls me where I'm from"

"Might I ask Where that might be, Anomaly~?" Mettaton purred

"HAH! Wouldn't everyone like to know" She snorted

"Th-they-th-e-they're the escaped government experiment!!!" Alphys blanched

"Lemme guess... gonna send me back to get poked full of needles and made to do unspeakable things for the sake of science again? To live the rest of eternity in a small, dark room only big enough for me if I curl into a ball, starved, refused water, cow-prodded for speaking?" Anomaly groused, nursing a cup of colorful alcohol in one hand, the other resting on her hip. "All I want is to live a normal life... I never asked for immortality, wings, horns, and all that."

"You're dangerous though!" Undyne spat, rushing to detain Anomaly, who sidestepped, draining the last of the alcohol in her cup before Undyne grabbed and suplexed her, only for Anomaly to fling her legs and flip in a way that caused Undyne's grip to break " **I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT!!!** " Anomaly roared "I-I just wanna be _normal_ and have friends and get to do things normal people get to do!" she broke down in tears. "not be some freak experiment gone horribly right!"

"Let her free..." Blood grunted

"BLOOD IS RIGHT! NO ONE DESERVES TO LIVE LIKE THAT!" Papyrus stomped his boot clad foot in finality

"yo Grillby... keep Anomaly's drinks coming.... put it on my tab" Sans grunted, putting a comforting arm around Anomaly's shaking shoulders and guiding her to sit at the bar.

"She can stay with me." you offered

"You've already got Gears and Rave. Where would she sleep?" Stretch chimed in

"She can stay in my room!" you grinned

"How can we trust her not to hurt you?" Sans looked at you as if you grew a second head

"Gears is right across the hall, and I can scream loud enough that _everyone_ in the apartment complex will hear me" you deadpanned 

"I-I don-n't wa-wanna be a b-bother" she hiccupped

"Relax! We could be like sisters!" you chirped

Rave was busy chattering the DJ's ear off and pointing at Mettaton frantically, though you knew he didn't see that Mettaton was looking at him with more than just passing interest.

you turned to Sans, giving him a sharp nudge, jerking a thumb between Rave and Mettaton. "I totally ship it"

A surprisingly loud barking laughter shook his frame at that

"I-I ship it t-to!!!" Alphys stuttered

Gears was downing hot sauce while Red, Sans, Stretch, and Rus tried to keep up

you and Anomaly both nursed brightly colored drinks. Turns out she doesn't like strong alcohol either, so you decided to try her drink. It was fruity, tart and sweet, carbonated, but also it was magic alcohol, so it had a strange spiciness to it and a lavender aftertaste.....

you just found your new go-to drink.

Blue was sloshed as fuck... hell, all the Papyrus personalities were major lightweights.

Gore was excitedly slurring something with Papyrus about the perfect spaghetti recipe when Edge very loudly argued with Thorn about lasagna vs burritos, sounding a lot like that 'duck season-rabbit season' skit from Loony Tunes

This was already turning into a chaotic mess, but you were loving every second of it.

The DJ came over the mic "Hey, how is everyone tonight? Welcome to Grillby's! It's Friday fun day! We got karaoke and dancing all night till two in the A.M.! If there's anything you'd like to sing or dance to, do not hesitate, come on down and let me know! We've got our first singer of the night, everyone give it up for Rave! Rave come on down!"

Rave nearly bowled over a few patrons on his mad dash for the stage, grabbing the mic. "Mettaton, lovely~! I hope you like what you hear tonight~!" Rave purred into the mic as the music started up.... was.... was he seriously about to... no.... gender swapped, gay, skeleton monster Ke$ha has entered the building!!!

"Wake up in the morning feelin like P Diddy. Got my glasses, I'm out the door, I'm gonna hit the city. Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of jack, cause when I'm leave for the night, I ain't comin back. I'm talkin pedicure on our toes-toes, tryin on all our clothes-clothes, boys blowin up our phones-phones. Drop top and playin our favorite CDs, pullin up to the parties, tryna get a little bit Tiiipsssyyyyyyy.... Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tooonight, I'mma fight till we see the sunlight. Tik-Tok on the clock, but the party don't stop no. oh a oh a oh oh. oh a oh a oh oh. Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tooonight, I'mma fight till we see the sunlight. Tik-Tok on the clock, but the party don't stop no. oh a oh a oh oh. oh a oh a oh oh. Ain't got a care in the world, vodka, plenty of beer. Ain't got no money in my pockets but I'm already here, and now the dudes are learnin up cause they hear we got swagger, but we kick em to the curb unless they look like Mc Jagger. I'm talkin er'body gettin crunk-crunk, boys try to touch my junk-junk gotta smack em if they gettin too drunk-drunk. Now-now we goin till they kick us out, or the police shut us down-down police shut us down-down, po-po shut us down. Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tooonight, I'mma fight till we see the sunlight. Tik-Tok on the clock, but the party don't stop no. oh a oh a oh oh. oh a oh a oh oh. Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tooonight, I'mma fight till we see the sunlight. Tik-Tok on the clock, but the party don't stop no. oh a oh a oh oh. oh a oh a oh oh. DJ, you build me up, ya break me down. My heart it pounds. yeah ya got me. With my hands up, ya got me now. ya got that sound yeah you got me. DJ, ya build me up, ya break me down. my heart it pounds yeah ya got me. With my hands up, put your hands up, PUT YOUR HANDS UP!!! Now the party don't start till I walk in. Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tooonight, I'mma fight till we see the sunlight. Tik-Tok on the clock, but the party don't stop no. oh a oh a oh oh. oh a oh a oh oh. Don't stop, make it pop, DJ blow my speakers up tooonight, I'mma fight till we see the sunlight. Tik-Tok on the clock, but the party don't stop no. oh a oh a oh oh. oh a oh a oh oh."

Mettaton was up in a flash, dancing around people to get to the stage. "Rave, darling~! That's just the kind of talent I came here tonight looking for~!!! Your voice is _electrifying_ and your appearance equally so!!! I came here looking for mere understudies for a stage performance, but, dare I say it? How would you like to be my co-host~?"

Rave nearly fainted... he literally fell off the stage, but Mettaton caught him last second "I would be honored!!!" Rave squealed, face practically glowing magenta

"ALPHYS, OUR SHIP IS SAILING!!!!" You screamed

"IKNOWIKNOWIKNOW!!!" she squealed

Mettaton's gaze flicked across Rave's face, taking in every detail of the immaculately smooth bone. "Care to dance with me, Rave~?" he smirked

"Yes please" Rave drooled

"You gonna sing anything, Y/n?" Rus drawled next to you, stirring you from your fangirl shipping mess of a mind

"Pft, only if you guys'll join me!"

"Alright ladies, gentlemen and everyone in between, give it up for Sans! After Sans we've got Stretch and after him we've got Undyne and Alphys." The DJ called out. 

Sans stumbled up on stage, hiccupping into the mic.

A familiar guitar strum and saxophone sound started playing, and you swear you know the song, you just can't remember the name, but it all rushes back to you when the music paused and Sans yelled "Tequila!" and the music resumed

"Of course he'd sing that! It's only lyric is tequila and the music pauses to prompt when to say it!" Red chuckled 

"Te-hic-quila!"

"Give it up for Sans, everybody!!! Stretch, come on down! after him we've got Undyne and Alphys and Gears and Y/n!"

You looked bewildered towards Gears

Sans stumbled off the stage before Stretch, slightly less hammered, shuffled on stage

"Gears, what song did you choose!?!" you blanched

"This Feeling by The Chainsmokers. You know it right? I heard ya singin it the other night while you were sweepin the kitchen"

"Oh thank god you picked something I know... but do you know it?"

"Don't worry bout it" he held up an acoustic guitar, worn with age and use

"you play guitar!?!"

"I'm a barbie girl in a barbie world. Laughin plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me everywheeeerrrree! Imagination, that is your creation!!!" Stretch caterwauled, making almost the entire bar explode with laughter at just how into it he was getting. 

"Hey Y/n. You're singin with us!" Undyne slugged your shoulder

"What are you singing?"

"Let's just say I hope you know about Hatsune Miku, dork"

"Which of her songs!?!"

"p-pa-patchwork staccato" Alphys replied

"Okay... be glad I know that one too"

Anomaly got up and went to talk to the DJ

Stretch was a fuckin maniac!!! Everyone was dying of laughter by the end of it.

Undyne dragged you and Alphys on stage.

"Can you put the lyrics in romaji, DJ? I can't read kanji!" you pouted

"Done and done. Also, it's the short version, so that should make it easier" he replied

Undyne picked up a mic, you and Alphys getting two extras from the DJ while she started off

" **tsugihagi darake no kimi to no jikan mo sorosoro owari ni shiyou kono ito chigiru no irotoridori chirabaru desho** " Undyne pointed at you to pick up the next line

You were shaking like a leaf as you picked up the next verse "nee hora ano toki no kotoba kasaneta muda na jikan kono ito chigiru dake fuzoroi da ne waraeru desho"

you and Undyne sang together with Alphys alternating in after you two.

" **tick tack tick tack** "

" _en o kaite_ "

" **ding dong ding dong** "

" _asobimasho_ "

" **tick tack tick tack** "

" _musunde hiraite_ "

" **ding dong ding dong** "

" _ja mata ne_ "

Undyne held her hand up, signaling you to pause " **hotsureta ito ga sasayaku..... kimi yo-** " she pointed at you to sing with her

" **isso isso inakunare** "

" **kawaranai kono mama nara tabun** "

" **kitto kitto nante koto nai** "

"sukoshi karuku naru dake nee"

" **ikka ikka sutechaeba** "

" _kizukanai sono mama nara dakedo_ "

" **zutto zutto suki kamo na** "

"sukoshi dake itai kana"

" _tick tack tick tack...... ding dong ding dong_ "

" **tsugihagi darake no kimi to no jikan o sorosoro owari ni shiyo kono ito chigiru dake kantan desho? waraeru yo ne?** "

The song ended and allllll the skeletons and even Mettaton...... aaaaaalllll staring at you

"Y/N KNOWS JAPANESE!?!" Blue blurted

"No, no I don't! I just know how to read romaji and how to pronounce the words well enough to fake my way through a song or two!" you blanched, holding your hands up defensively

"Alright, still mighty impressive though. Everyone give them a hand! Y/n don't go anywhere, Gears bring that guitar up here and show us whatcha got! After that we've got Anomaly! And after Anomaly we've got Red!" the DJ called out.

Undyne grabbed Alphys, holding her bridal style as she leapt off the stage, Gears pulling a chair up with him, sitting down and adjusting the mic on the stand. 

The song started up just as your liquid courage started kicking in, easing your stage fright as you started to sing

"I'll tell you a story before it tells itself  
I'll lay out all my reasons, you'll say that I need help  
We all got expectations, and sometimes they go wrong  
But no one listens to me, so I put it in this song"

Gears began strumming his guitar. you took note that the DJ cut out the guitar part just for Gears to play it instead

"They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest  
They got their hands at my neck this time  
But you're the one that I want, if that's really so wrong  
Then they don't know what this feeling is like

And I say yeah-eah  
Yeah-eah-eah-eah  
Yeah-eah  
Yeah-eah-eah-eah  
And I say yeah-eah  
Yeah-eah-eah-eah  
Yeah-eah  
Yeah-eah-eah-eah"

" **I'll tell them a story, they'll sit and nod their heads**

**I tell you all my secrets, and you tell all your friends**   
**Hold on to your opinions, and stand by what you said**   
**In the end, it's my decision, so it's my fault when it ends**

**They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest**   
**They got their hands at my neck this time**   
**But you're the one that I want, if that's really so wrong**   
**Then they don't know what this feeling is like**

**And I say yeah-eah**  
 **Yeah-eah-eah-eah**  
 **Yeah-eah**  
 **Yeah-eah-eah-eah**  
 **And I say yeah-eah**  
 **Yeah-eah-eah-eah**  
 **Yeah-eah**  
 **Yeah-eah-eah-eah** "

" **I'll tell you a story before it tells itself**

**I'll lay out all my reasons, you'll say that I need help**   
**We all got expectations, and sometimes they go wrong**   
**But no one listens to me, so I put it in this song**

**They tell me think with my head, not that thing in my chest**   
**They got their hands at my neck this time**   
**But you're the one that I want, if that's really so wrong**   
**Then they don't know what this feeling is like**

**My friends say no-o, no-o-o**   
**But they don't know**   
**No-o, no-o-o**   
**Yeah, no-o, no-o-o**   
**They don't know**   
**No-o, no-o-o**   
**No, no**

**And I say no, oh, oh**  
 **And I say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah**  
 **They don't know, oh** "

"Give it up for Y/n and Gears and that beautiful duet with Gears's acoustic guitar skills! In fact, Gears, why don't you play us a little somethin? Show us what you can really do with that guitar!" The DJ turned off the music

"I dunno... I'd hate to get too cocky with it and make a fool of myself" Gears flushed

"PLAY WONDERWALL!!!!" Blue called out

Gears's eyes went blank. " **not on your life** "

"Well then play wndrwll!" Stretch snickered

"Only if you guys'll do it with me!" Gears chortled

"Sans, Red, Cash, Rus, Mat, Blood help us out with this!" Stretch beamed

"Tha fuq is wndrwll?" Anomaly groused next to you

"The meme version of Wonderwall" You replied, downing another drink as the pack of idiots got up on the stage with Gears, taking up all three mics and having to share them as Gears started strumming the chords lazily. They all were working together and alternating on verses.

" **Today day day day day day day**  
 **Day day day day day day day day day**

**By now now now now now now**   
**Now now now now now now now now**   
**I don't believe that anybody**   
**Feels the way I do, do do do do**

**Back beat, beat beat beat be at**   
**Beat beat beat beat beat beat beat**   
**I'm sure sure sure sure sure**   
**Sure sure sure sure sure sure sure sure**   
**I don't believe that anybody**   
**Feels feels feels feel feel feel feels**

**And all the roads we have to walk are winding (do do do do...)**   
**And all the lights that lead us there are blinding (do do do do...)**   
**There are many things that I**   
**Would like to say to you but I don't know how**

**Because maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me**   
**And after all, you're my wonderwall**

**Uoy ot kcab ti worht reven ll'yeht tub**   
**Yad eht eb annog saw yadot**   
**Od ot ton er'uoy tahw dezilaer**   
**Wohemos ev'dluohs uoy won yb**   
**Od I yaw eht sleef**   
**Ydobyna taht eveileb t'nod I**   
**About you now**

**And all the roads that lead you there are winding**  
 **And all the lights that light the way are blinding**  
 **There are many things that I**  
 **Would like to say to you but I don't know how** " 

the song tumbled ungracefully into the theme for Full House, Papyrus shredding electric guitar and Rus surprisingly rocking the saxophone.

you and Anomaly were barking with laughter, Anomaly actually laughing so hard she was crying

"Anomaly, take a drink to calm down and come on down! we're waiting to see how good you can sing! I got you back to back, so come on down and knock em dead times two!" the DJ called out

"I'm bout to do somethin that'll freak everyone out and potentially make you and your walking dead gang feel less comfortable with me sharing a room with you" Anomaly winked, downing the rest of their drink before flying across the bar and landing on stage

"Who here wants to see a freaky side effect of the experiments I've been through!?!" Anomaly called out, getting the entire bar's attention, especially you and the skeletons

"Hit it DJ, I'm bout ta melt some fuckin faces with this first song!!!" they cheered

a familiar guitar riff begins playing only for Anomaly to grip the mic tight, doubling over before letting out an all too familiar screamo " **AOWA-A-A-A!!!!** "

Red, Edge, Thistle, Cash, Thorn, and Rus all seemed to approve of the song choice and how well they pulled off the beginning most would fuck up or opt out of

**"Drowning deep in my sea of loathing**

**Broken your servant I kneel**   
**(Will you give in to me?)**   
**It seems what's left of my human side**   
**Is slowly changing in me**   
**(Will you give in to me?)**

**Looking at my own reflection**  
 **When suddenly it changes** "

Anomaly's feminine body shifted, turning masculine, but their voice never changed.

everyone seemed taken aback at this revelation

  
" **Violently it changes (oh no)** "

They switched back feminine, all the skeletons on edge 

  
" **There is no turning back now**  
 **You've woken up the demon in me**

**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**Open up your hate, and let it flow into me**   
**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**You mother get up come on get down with the sickness**   
**You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness**   
**Madness is the gift, that has been given to me**

**I can see inside you, the sickness is rising**   
**Don't try to deny what you feel**   
**(Will you give in to me?)**   
**It seems that all that was good has died**   
**And is decaying in me**   
**(Will you give in to me?)**

**It seems you're having some trouble**  
 **In dealing with these changes** "

gender swap male

  
" **Living with these changes (oh no)** "

Masculine Anomaly gestured to their own body, staring down the skeletons as they did

  
" **The world is a scary place**  
 **Now that you've woken up the demon in me**

**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**Open up your hate, and let it flow into me**   
**Get up, come on get down with the sickness**   
**You mother get up come on get down with the sickness**   
**You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness**   
**Madness is the gift, that has been given to me**

**No mommy, don't do it again**   
**Don't do it again**   
**I'll be a good boy**   
**I'll be a good boy, I promise**   
**No mommy don't hit me**   
**Why did you have to hit me like that, mommy?**   
**Don't do it, you're hurting me**   
**Why did you have to be such a bitch**

**Why don't you**   
**Why don't you just fuck off and die**   
**Why can't you just fuck off and die**   
**Why can't you just leave here and die**   
**Never stick your hand in my face again bitch**   
**Fuck you**   
**I don't need this shit**   
**You stupid sadistic abusive fucking whore**   
**How would you like to see how it feels mommy**   
**Here it comes, get ready to die**

**Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah**  
 **Get up, come on get down with the sickness**  
 **Get up, come on get down with the sickness**  
 **Get up, come on get down with the sickness**  
 **Open up your hate, and let it flow into me**  
 **Get up, come on get down with the sickness**  
 **You mother get up come on get down with the sickness**  
 **You fucker get up come on get down with the sickness**  
 **Madness has now come over me!!!** "

Anomaly switched back to female appearance as the next song started up

" **My momma use to say**

**'Baby make me proud**   
**You've got such a pretty face**   
**But such a dirty mouth'**   
**But how come when I tell you**   
**What's on my mind like men do**   
**I'm called crazy?**   
**Crazy**

**This is not a love song**   
**This is not a sing along**   
**But ladies, are you with me?**   
**I know that you're with me**

**Add a little sugar, they say**  
 **Be a little sweeter, they say**  
 **Gotta give and take, but I say**  
 **This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **Be a little proper, they say**  
 **Speak a little softer, they say**  
 **Gotta be a lady, but I say** "

Gender switch

  
" **This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **(My way, my way, my way)**

**This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **(My way, my way, my way)**  
 **This time it's my way, ah, my way** "

gender switch

" **I'll do me**  
 **You do you**  
 **I don't need nobody's permission**  
 **I won't back down**  
 **Win or lose**  
 **Oh yeah, one and only limited edition (yeah)**

**This is not a love song**   
**This is not a sing along**   
**But ladies, are you with me?**   
**I know that you're with me**

**Add a little sugar, they say**  
 **Be a little sweeter, they say**  
 **Gotta give and take, but I say**  
 **This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **Be a little proper, they say**  
 **Speak a little softer, they say**  
 **Gotta be a lady, but I say** "

gender switch

  
" **This time it's my way, ah, my way**

**This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **This time it's my way, ah, my way**  
 **This time it's my way, ah, my way** "

"Ho... ly... shit!!! That was amazing!" The DJ announced

"Anomaly?..... do you have the ability to change gender at will!?!" Sans's eyelights were out

"Yeah, so? I can tell Y/n's special to all of y'all, so I ain't gonna do nothin. If anythin, I'd keep anyone from gettin funny ideas while she's sleepin... plus I prefer my fem bod over all cause no one really tried too hard to hurt me. I may be immortal, but shit still hurts! also, I tend to go for more dominant partners, and one look at her tells me she's sub all the way and inexperienced, but if any'a y'all want help from someone that knows how, hit me up, I gotcha covered no strings and gone after a cig" Anomaly smirked "She ain't my type"

" **k e e p i t t h a t w a y o r y o u ' r e g o n n a h a v e a b a d t i m e , k i d d o** " Sans gritted out

"I'm a hundred years older'n you, drop that kiddo crap" Anomaly smiled, patting him on the shoulder and shifting back to their feminine body

Sans, despite the advice not to do it to humans, pulled up Anomaly's stats

**B̶̨̩̺̈͊͆ͅͅ** _a̶͕̿̎̊̇_ **i̸͉̬̓̽̈͜͝** _**L̸̢̖͖̮͎̐̎͝** _ **L̴̢̢̡̥̇** **_I̴̧̘͗̍ ȅ̵̜̭̠͉ (_ ** **Anomaly Detected)**

**LV: 0̴̱̳͔͍͈͌͛̿̃**

**EXP: 1̷̠̘̾̔̀̀**

**HP: 0̷͈͑̕.̵̬͓̑̍͛̅1̵͓̲͌̌̚/̴̖͈̬̮͕̑̏̒̚͝1̴̡̨̻̼̑̌͊́0̵̱͇̠̲͓̑̍̓͋0̷̦͗̽̊͆0̸̼̘͓̖̰̎͗̚ (Danger)**

* **0̶̻͑͐̃1̷̯̱̱̤̈̋0̵̨͙̇̕ͅ1̸̈͑̏͆͜0̷̭̰̠̑͌̽́0̶̜͙̒̈́̃͂1̵̨̡̲͛̅1̸̘͒̓͋ ̴̝̟͉̎0̴̫̜͂ͅ1̵̢̦̲̗͋̈̇͑1̷͇̣̯̉̐͝0̷̭̜̘͜1̷͕̭͛̏͜1̵̭͙̞̞̿́ͅ1̶͎̬̟̟̹̽͝1̸̗͕̓͂͆͘͜ ̶̻͍̍͐̿̑0̸̜̝͍̠̩̽͑̕̕0̶̬͎̽̊͘1̷̹̪̇0̷̢͖̫̪̒0̵͕͒̃̾̄͝0̷ͅ0̴̩̖̪̖̦̑͛0̸͕͎̣̗͋ ̷̥͗͆̂**

**0̶̧͑̑̃̃̆1̷̪̈͂͑̄̐͜1̶̬̰̊̚0̸̮̣̘̝̍̆̃̔͘1̶̣̓͗͐͒͝1̵̲͑͑0̵͚̇͝0̶̗̻̻̗́͂̍ ̷̨͎̥͐̋̚0̵̩̻̞͈̏̒̃1̷̨̨̳̥̰̍1̷̦̦̖̻̘̀̒͗͠0̸̛͔̯̓1̵̳̎̅̈̚1̵̬̟̼̰̞̏̂̋1̵͔͐͒͘͜1̴̡̠̍͑͆̂̆ͅ ̶̻̎̈͛͛0̸̪͇͕̹͌̌̊̊1̶̻̻͕̮̎̆͊ͅ1̶̺̤͆0̷̭͖̻͈̓̉͝1̶̥͛1̷̢̻̓̔̃̆̓1̶̡̱̪͖̞̌̒0̵̻̃̀ ̸̛̺́̓0̷̞͈̆1̶͔͂̔**

**1̷̢̨̻̪̔̓0̷̺͙̻͓̟͊̈́̌̌̕0̴̼́1̴̫̐̋̽̾0̴̨̈1̵̯̯̐̿̂̕ ̵̡̲̩͕͇̔̓͊0̷̥̼̻1̸̰̤̈́1̴͇͓̅̽̇͑͘͜0̶͈̱͙͆͐͝1̴̨̯̼̭͒̈͝1̷̠͌0̶̛̩̰̰̤͌͑̌0̸̲͍̩̯̜̅ ̵̙̤͒0̴͔̪̠͒͂͗1̷̤̖̄͐͂̈́͆1̸̲̍͠1̸͓̦̳̿1̸̮̭̜͌̚̚͜0̷̮̎̍0̶̠̘̩̬͒͜͝1̵͎̮̥̉ ̷̢̫̏**

**0̷̭̘̮̾0̷̪̌̒1̸̼͎̺͗̏0̵̦̺̇̾͆͊1̴̰̯͛͌̑͌͜1̴̮͐1̴̹̞̼͙̗̍́0̷̫̜̑͆͂ ̷͖̞̬̪̙͋̐̈́͋͘0̶̮͎̙̹̭̆͐͝͝͝0̸̛̫͓̑1̷̡̛̩͋̆̽̅0̸͖̤̯̠̳̂1̶͓̏̓̑1̷̬̦͑͆̿͋͘1̵̞̙̞̙̬͗̿́͛0̵̡̯͈̔̍ͅ ̷̧̲̼̑̐0̶͍͕̀͆̚͝ͅ0̸̨̝̤̽̈́1̵̛̗̦͙̣̻͒͝0̶̹͒͜1̶̝̼̇1̶̢͍͖͉͋͂̚͝1̴̱̃̏̌̑̀0̶̙̖͒̿͊̈́ͅ ̸̛̛͕̗**

**0̷̢̲̝̈́0̴͔̰͇͂1̴̙̬̩̈͜0̶̧͎̗̠̿̿͜0̸̜͆̄͛̑0̶̬̮̉0̸̡̗̥͈͐͌̇0̷̘̪̙̎͐ ̷̡̰̠͔͐͠0̸̯̱͐̄1̷̧̡̠͌̇1̶̳̈́̒͜͠1̷͈̞̖͋ͅ0̴̦̊1̸̨̬̝̲͛1̸̤̫͐͌̆1̴̧̹̲̣̲͛̔ ̴̲͇̮̥͆0̵̟͇͌̅̍͜1̷̼͙̎͛̋͗͝1̸̧̛̩̪̠͑͋͆͜0̸͕͖̯́͋0̴̼̇̃͝0̴̡̭̯͆̈́̌̄̑0̷̛̱̟̫1̷̯͉̠̹̝̾̀̋̂ ̵̭̺̮̖̟̊̑0̸͔̠͍̒͊̓̔͝1̵̡͕͓̖̪͛1̷̬͍̦̝̽̀̊0̸̹̖̖̈́̽̊1̶̨̍͝1̴̺̻̮̎͐1̴͎̙͐͆̋͆̈́0̵͕͎̜̇̄ ̶̳͖̩̈́̈́̊̏**

**0̷̦̏́ͅ1̸̬͓̽̍͝1̶͎̗̈̈́̀1̵̬̦͉̮̎̆̕0̵̹̊̑̈́̍̚1̴̝͓̿̀̊͝0̷̧͙̰̲̑̂̃͝0̷̨̗̘͙̅̕ ̶̢̥̞̂0̷̦̦̦̏̃̅̋̕͜ͅ1̴̭̂̈̔̚1̴̛̩̓̅1̵̧͉̀͒͒̚0̴̢̄̓0̶̡̋1̵͕͍̅͝1̷̢̬̞͙͎̀̀̋ ̶͎̦͕̯͒͗̑͆͝0̵̥́0̸̙̗͔̗̥̔̓͒1̸̧͂̄̎̿̈́0̶̫̝̦̉̔͐̄̔0̸̟̰͔͂́̑̊0̷̭̦̣͐0̶̺̩͔͋0̸͚̝̅̾͑ ̸̤̗͓̇͝0̴̡͍̪̼̂1̶͖͚͚̗͉̈̾͛͒̚1̸̨̱͍́̎̅͆̎1̸̡̖͎͍̙͂͊0̴͓̃͒͌̋1̷̛̣̆̉̄̚0̸̺̯̗̻͆̊̽̅0̶̧̼̱͗ ̵̣̄̈́̈́̏**

**0̷̪̌̈͋̚ͅ1̸͉̌1̴̡̢̓͠͝0̴̧͎̱̫̲̋̓͂̿1̵̻̫̲͒́͜͝1̵̮̿̎̂̋1̶̨̧̼͉̄͑͌͑͝1̷̥̑͘ ̶̢̛̓̋͠0̷̡͚͐̈̒̈́͝0̵͉͙̮̳̦̎1̸̗͓͒̒0̵̦̭̐̈́̈́͘0̶̳̗̼͂̄̕̕0̶̨̛̦̼̞̄̒́͜0̵̡̥̠͕̩̒͆̃͝0̸͓̞̫͎͓̈ ̴̻͓̻̣̀̋̀͝0̵̡̻̹̑̂̉̈́1̵̗̙͇̇͗̓̅1̵̧̡̡̤̘̋̈0̴̧͗͂̆0̵̧̋̽̿̅1̷̧͍̠͆̉0̶̙͋̍0̴̜͔̹̖̤͒͝ ̴̧̤͙͔͒0̷̻̹̮͑1̸̤̩̩͇̈́1̵̹͋0̴̮̦̳͈̺̂̂̐̂͠1̷̡̘͓̇̈0̷̥̣̏͆̄͆͜ͅ0̴̡̝̔̓1̶̙̜̬͐̈́͠ ̴͓̫̲̭͕͝**

**0̶̗̹̠̥͋̇ͅ1̶̹̣͍͍͓̈̅͑̚1̸̨͍̯̩̦̇̍̈́͝0̸̮̰͑̽̈́0̷͈̜̗͈̒1̶̭̑͘0̶̖̐1̵̤̭̞͖͂͘͘͝ ̷̞̝̦̬̞̾̑͆̓͝0̵̨͖̠̫̺̄̈́͝0̶̗̜̕1̸͉̫̈́̆͒̉͝0̴͓̾̇̓̽̏1̷̩̓̓̎̚͜1̴͖͝0̶̢̻͈͇̔͘0̷̢͓̃̽͛ ̴̪̦̱̽0̴̞̣͎̑̆̂̔0̴̡̯̩̼̿̈́͋͠1̷͚͂̽͋̾0̷̳̦͓̟̤̅͆̉͠͝0̸͇́̑̍͝0̴̖͆̈̏̓̈0̴̝̝͍̣̄0̶͙̔ ̸̝̜̙̝̳͑̓0̸̡̘̝͕͒1̴͕̈́̉1̸̯̲̙͆̅͂͘0̷͔͓̙̼͕͆́̄0̶̖̣̍̽0̵̼̻̰̬̹͝1̶̪̈́̄0̴̳̏̐ ̶̡̤̈̃**

**0̷͔͐̎͝1̴̧̞̟̬̈́͝ͅ1̴̮̖̙̝̥͆1̸͙̥̦̬͚̽͌́͠0̷̮͍̠̔͝1̴̧̲͝͝0̷̢͚̪̤̃ͅ1̵͈̜̖͊̑ ̴͕͒̂̑̚͝0̴͙̼̜̇̔1̶̲͍͎̬̩̃̂̋͌1̸̩͉̣̳̿̿́̄͠1̶̰̐ͅ0̸̧͖͈͉͗ͅ1̴̰̰̲͋̑̕0̵̙͖͑͊͒͗̄0̷̰̗̰̭̫͛͛̆͛ ̴̳͓̘̋̒̄̒͠0̸̧̘͍͙̖͂͠͠0̴͍͈̒͐̽̚1̴̥̔̍̐̎0̷̙̗̖̫̒ͅ0̷̆͛͜0̴̡̠̩̖͓͒̓̎̔0̵͚̘̼̗̀̐0̸̪͕̤̠̰̉ ̷̞̀̽͂0̵͔̩͓̤̜̂̌̕1̵̖̘̻̠̒͜͝1̴̤̈͝0̶̳͓́̀̍̿̚ͅͅ0̴̠̹͎͚͌̅̆ͅ0̷̦̼̲̫̉̓̅̈̚1̴̳̣̄̾ͅ1̵̦͔̗͔͝ ̷̠͘**

**0̷̢͗̈́̊̏1̴̪͗͊̕1̵͈̹͋̊́͜0̸̱̺̼̈0̵̼͊̇̄͑̓0̸̗͎̫̋͒͛͠ͅ0̸̨̣̖͎̙̅͌̎͘͝1̷̢̼̪̈́͊̄̾̾ͅ ̵̧͛0̸͉͒1̸̰́̃1̸̫̬̼̙͒͜0̵͍̖̮̘͓̇1̵̹͈̟͓͒̅̌̚͜͝1̷͚̀̔͜͝1̶͓̽̔͝0̶͔͉̰̀͒̃͘ ̶̨̜̇͗͆̃͌0̶̹͇̪͍̄̌͊͛͊0̸̛͎̪̞͇͔̂̔̓1̶͓̩̘̦̆͛̕0̷̨̡̲̺́̉̕ͅ0̷̯̰͛̆1̵̰͚̇͌͘1̷͇͑̈͌1̶͙̜͑̈̿̓͊ ̶̦̼͇̥͋̌0̴̡̺̤͈̈1̶̧̼̱͆͛̿1̶̡̄̈́1̵̛̜̙̉͆0̶̡͇̣̾̈́̎̎1̶̹̬̠̱͉̎̅0̸̛̥̦̑͂0̴̬̮̫̅̈̈́͠͠ ̸̞̈́͋͂͠**

**0̴̙͎͈͕̽̓0̶̢̲̮̿͌̏́̓1̶̡̓͋̔0̵̧̯̲̍̄̾͠1̷̨̮̾̉̄̆͘͜1̸̡̲͙͊̍͗̃1̴̝̺̺̈̐ͅ0̵̧͚̮͚͖͊̋̓͆ ̷̞̥̂0̷̝͎̙̼͕̀̌0̶̟̿̏1̴͔̜̯̍̂͑0̷̨̮̬̙̮͌̉̈͠0̵̨̘̮̈0̵̩̘͖̓̓̿0̷̢̫͍͖̈̿0̵͔͕͗͒͒̄ ̴̰̲̪̪͗͘0̵͚̆̓̌͜1̸̩̍̾̈́0̵͙̝̔̽͋̐0̶͚̦̦̪͐̐̆̓̕͜0̷̨͙̘͈̺́0̶̰̱͇̒̈́̚0̸͍̉̕͝1̴͕͎̦̬̀̐͑ ̸͎͛0̵͈̟̝̈́͗0̴͎̞̉͑̌1̴̧̫̼̳͚̓̈́̈͋͊0̵̱͎͇̫̩͛͋͝͝͝0̴̡̦̌̈́̂0̷̻̥̪̈0̶̼̖̑̎̾̂0̸̼̑̏ ̶̫̗̙̥͊̉̂͛**

**0̴͈̣̺̖̖̀̄͑1̵̗͈̜̇͝͝1̸̝̠̘̎͌̿0̶̹̎̓͋0̵̡̖̙͍̹͋͆͌̏1̵̨̙̠̻̯͛̆̿1̷̱̞̀1̶̮̤̍̇̑̆ ̷̧̝̖̫̇0̴̝͖̟̿̂͋͘1̵̲̉͛͐1̴͎̈̍͑̾̕0̶̮̃̅̽̋1̶̰̟̽̀̈́̍̚1̴̭͎͋1̴̍͜1̷̨̮̿͒͘ ̸͔̯͉̬͋͗̄͝0̵̖̠̈́̀͐1̷̤̬̃1̴̳̤́́0̸̩̪̫̗̔̄͛̂̉1̷͎̩͚̗̬̍̊̓̓1̸̯̪͈̻̥̔̔̚̕1̸̞͐1̴̢̹̣̽̑ ̵̯̪̞̻̓̍͜0̵͈̯͗1̶̳̭̪͌̾̂̍͘1̴̛̭̃͂0̸̮̪̾̽ͅ0̵̩̦̈͠1̵̤̝̾͐0̸̮̪͔̘̯͋̌̐0̴̨̯͕̓͘ ̸̧̝͖̥͔̂͘**

**0̷̢͆̑0̶̢̯̘͊̃1̸̠̣̰͂̓̎͘0̵̢̧̮̭0̴̭̗͔͕͂́0̴̮̩̫̫̈0̷̨̖̺͈̺͒̃̇̈́̉0̷̦̥̬̓͆ ̴͉̟̽́ͅ0̶̡͇̍͛1̷̘̉̓̈́͊͘͜ͅ1̸̧͚͈͙̒̈́̂0̸͔̗̠̆̂͜0̸̙̎̉̀̕1̸̡̛̟̠̥͗̾1̵̭͇͒̓͘0̵̨̜̼̈̓̓̀ ̴̗͌̎̑͠0̸͙̜̈́̒͂̄͠1̶͚̣̘̫͋1̵̗̠̺̓̎̈1̶͕̳̠̜̊̏0̶̯̙̘̝͙̍̐̿0̴̛̙̬̃̏̊̚1̸̪̔͗̅̓͝0̴͓̽ ̸̧̣̳͉̋0̶̡̭̹͕̺͒͑̌̇1̷̡̝͙͗͜1̵̖͔̖͗͂͛͘0̴̨̯̝͂1̴̮̟̟͙̾͒̾̕͝0̵̜͓͕̄̾̍̋ͅ0̶̪̼̩͕̃́1̶̮ ̴̭̔͐̐**

**0̸̟͛̽̈́̂͋1̷̖̈̊1̴͈͈͑́̎ͅ0̷̗̿̈̓ͅ0̷͚̆͌͊ͅ1̵̨̦̣̮̭͆̀̈́̕0̷͉1̸̞̾̑ ̸̗̬̘̏̂͝0̵̧̼̝͚͎̀̊͒̂͘1̸̼͗1̸̩̅̇ͅ0̶̢̜̋̋͛̈́1̷͈̙̦̓̌1̷̢͍͇̀1̴̧̡͑0̸̜͙̹͠ ̷̗̲͂̒͆̀0̶̭̣̈͒͒͌1̶͓͕̘͉͚̂̈̐̎͠1̵̦̳̠́̅0̸̱̐̌0̴͎̥͎̉̄͑̽̍1̸͓̪͎͓̂̈̈́0̷̦͓̞͑0̸̬̅ ̵̢̩̞̯̝̔͊̿͌0̶͓̯̓͝0̸̘̭̖̺͋͋͘͘1̵̢̝̻̲̱͑̈́́̓0̸̠̙̮͂̄͂͘1̴̨̹̌̆͂̋1̸̤̼̪̻̥̍͂̑́1̶̮͌̔̽̚͠0̶̰͊͌**

**(file corrupted)**

"Wha-? Guys, look at their stats.... it's all.... corrupted and scrambled, and the little quote about them's as far as I can tell scrambled into binary..." Sans frowned, squinting as if that'd somehow make the stats more legible

"Oh, Sans, darling~? I can't decipher their real name due to the sheer amount of corruption, but I can see the LV is 0, EXP is 1 and.... oh my.... they're constantly a mere pinch away from their soul shattering. The Binary from what I can tell says they want to die, but can't and that they're lonely, but a good friend." MEttaton whispered "I checked them when they walked in... bad habit, I know, but can you blame me~?"

"Thanks, Metta. I trust you wouldn't lie about it if it said anything too bad"

"You still think it's wise ta trust 'em?" Mat frowned as Red was called up

"I say we give them a chance, but keep an eye socket on them just in case"

"I dunno bout anyone else, but ave ye eva wondered what an english song sounds like in Russian? Cause yer bout ta find out! This one goes out ta you, Y/n"

" **Nesmotrya na lozh', kotoruyu ty sozdayosh',**

**tvoya lyubov' - moya, chtoby ya mog zavladet' yeyu.**

**Moya lyubov'**

**prosto zhdot,**

**chtoby prevratit' tvoi slezy v rozy.** "

no way.... Whispers in the Dark by Skillet... but Red was covering it in Russian..... YOU HAD NO IDEA RED KNEW HOW TO SPEAK RUSSIAN!!! HIS ACCENT EVEN SHIFTED FROM BROOKLYN TO RUSSIAN!!! And damn if that gruff, deep voice speaking such an aggressive language didn't stir something inside you... or was that the alcohol talking???

Rave.... was.... TANKED!!! He stumbled over and sat on the other side of you

"Ya know somethin, y-y/n..... guuuuuurrrrrrrllll, didja know tha-hic ereuns godda crush un yu?... like _daaaamn_ they all wantsa take yus to tha bone zone bu nunovem gots da **_guts_** ta doit! Ahm collin it! yus gonna keep da vee card till the machin's fixed n den is jus gon be yu an Snansn Gears n Papyrus, bu den I my not be round ta cock block no mores, y'know?" Rave slurred, wobbling as if the bar stool were in the middle of the ocean. "Yu needsa go uptaem all n jus... jus fuckem, y'know? Speshally Gears cuz I dunno if he gotsitinem ta do ya adall"

"how many drinks have you had, neon?" Anomaly snickered

"Aye loss counafdr leven" Rave giggled, spinning on the stool

"something tells me you and I are gonna be having to drag all 16 guys back home on leashes by the end of the night" Anomaly snickered.

After Red got done singing, the night went by in a flash of alcohol _**EVERYWHERE**_ and plenty of trying to dance with 16 drunken idiots, though just about everyone except you, Anomaly, and Gears were sloshed to the point of nearly passing out by the time the DJ packed up and left.

You helped Grillby clean up the skeletons' messes, feeling bad for the sheer amount they left in their wake. You were tipsy for sure, bordering full on drunk, but still had enough wit about you to feel mortified, but Grillby assured you the amount of people drawn in by your unruly group of idiots more than made up for it

The sky was cloudy when you rangled the boys out onto the street at 3am

"CAUSE I'M A... _PRIVATE_ DANCER, A DANCER FOR _MONEY_ A DUH DUH DUH DUUUH DUHDUHDUH... DUH DUUUH DUH DUUUH DUH..... ANY OLD MUSIC WILL DO~" - **THWUMP-**..... aaaand Edge has left the building.....

Gears hefted the big spikey boy into his arms, carrying him the rest of the way

"Y'KNOW, FOR A GUY YER KINA CUTE~ MAYBE I CULD TIE YA UP AN-" Edge grumbled at Gears " **Aaaaaand let's change that subject, shall we!?!** " Gears squawked, Face turning into a living sunset at Edge's drunken implications. " **You're stayin in my room tonight as it is, but you touch me and I kick yer sorry ass a Texas mile and back!!!** "

"BLUE -HIC-, Y-YOU'S MY BESTEST FRIEND... I DUNNO WHY I HATED YU" Thistle grinned, hanging off Blue

"THE MAGNIFICENT BLUE FORG-HIC-IVES YOU FOR YOUR-HIC- PREVIOUS FEELINGS... Y-YOU DANCE GOOD N STUFF... THIS WAS FUN! WE GOTTA DO IT AGAIN SOMETIME!" Blue cheered

Blood was practically getting dragged by Red "Comon, Bloody buddy, we're almost there! W-we getta sleepover at Y/n's apartment... an we might getta......... I forgot what I was sayin" Red chuckled

"Y/N'S HAIR LOOKS SO SOFT!!! I JUST WANNA GET ALL TANGLED IN IT AND NEVER FIND MY WAY OUT AGAIN" Gore grinned 

"I AGREE, SCARY LOOKING ME! I WANNA BRUSH IT!" Papyrus replied

Cash had stolen a lot of wallets, poor Undyne was still out returning them all

the rest seemed to be focused on just getting to the parking lot in one piece before they pass out, but Stretch wound up having to carry Blue halfway there

.........

........

.........

_**Sans:** what a headache.... I just want some alone time with her..._

_**Papyrus:** OH NO SHE'S HOT!!!_

_**Blue:** IS ANOMALY A MONSTER OR A HUMAN? I CAN'T TELL_

_**Stretch:** glad she had fun... don't trust Anomaly as far as I can throw em tho...._

_**Thistle:** I NEEDA NAP_

_**Cash:** Damn Undyne takin those saps' wallets back_

_**Thorn:** IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII'M... GONNA SWIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING FROM THE CHANDELIIIIIIER~! FROM THE CHANDELIIIIIEEEEERRRRR~!!!_

_**Rus:** gotaa keep an eye on her... make sure no one tries to get too stupid_

_**Red:** I'm gunna steal a pair of her panties t'night..... totally gunna doit..._

_**Edge:** THA STAAARS AT NIIIGHT ER DUUULLL N DIIIM~!!! CAUSETHEYHAVETOBEOVERDUMBOLDSTUPIDTEXAS!!!!_

_**Blood:** Gore's gonna puke..._

_**Gore:** DON'TTHROWUPDON'TTHROWUPDON'TTHROWUPWHYISEVERYTHINGSPINNING!!!_

_**Mat:** Rave wansusta wha? I me I guess I couldvshe wansit! oh shit, Squall's passed out... gotta carry him now..... faaaaaan fuckin tastic_

_**Squall:** she's jus so cooln I don't standa chance wither!!!..... why is my internal monologue so quie-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz_

_**Gears:** There's no way I'm gonna do what Rave's mumbling about!!! I just can't do that to her!!! She'd probably hate me for it!!!_

_**Rave:** She neesa fuckem!!! ahm tellin ya she jus needsa pull em into her room an just get it!!!_

_**Anomaly:** They're gonna send me back... it's only a matter of time before they do, I just know it.... but at least I made a friend_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rave: Ke$ha- Tik Tok (nightcore male version)  
> https://youtu.be/VmZXeaphHYE
> 
> Sans: The Champs- Tequila  
> https://youtu.be/U_JFLb1IItM
> 
> Stretch: Aqua- Barbie girl (male version)  
> https://youtu.be/owpCqJmGwDA
> 
> You, Undyne, and Alphys: Toa- Patchwork Staccato (MORE MORE JUMP! version)  
> https://youtu.be/k0UnAqTCsOY
> 
> You and Gears: The Chainsmokers- This Feeling (nightcore)  
> https://youtu.be/BBhanGns0MQ
> 
> "the pack of idiots": Neil Cicierega- wndrwll  
> https://youtu.be/o15tjq1AYQc
> 
> Anomaly 1: Disturbed- Down with the Sickness (nightcore)  
> https://youtu.be/f8yoPmFtkME
> 
> Anomaly 2: Ava Max- My Way (Shew remix nightcore male version)  
> https://youtu.be/nLIa07L4iU4
> 
> Red: Skillet- Whispers in the Dark (Russian cover)  
> https://youtu.be/uzUsjAChQdw
> 
> Also, feel free to ship Gears and Edge. I love noncanon gay skele ships and when I first made Gears as a bitty, he fell in love with a Fell Pap bitty and had two kids with him and Gears was the sub, so fan ships of it are a-okay with me! Also Gears and Red got a sorta weird bromance... Heck, I might do another fanfic based off this story where I do NSFW and SFW oneshots! if anyone has any requests for that, just let me know!!! I'll be more than happy to write any pairing you like from this fic in it!!! Just don't let me catch anyone underage reading it and we gucci! Let me know your thoughts and any requests for the oneshots fic in the comments!


End file.
